Published on 12, July, 2020
I was diagnosed as autistic yesterday (42, female), but the psychiatrist was convinced I had combined ASD/ADHD traits and he explained that that has meant a lot of individual traits are hidden by the other (eg I have an aversion to change but get bored easily). I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself. My psychiatrist said that if I took ADHD meds the ASD traits would become more evident and he’s referred me for this assessment also.
The difficulty is I have a lot of anxiety around my diagnosis because I was on the threshold of ASD – I prefer to be alone but I can be social and have learned to make eye contact now I’m older and don’t feel uncomfortable if it’s people I know well (though I can’t hold a gaze). I feel I tick so many boxes for each condition but not all of them and I am very high functioning - the psychiatrist said i am good at masking.
At the end of my assessment the psychiatrist asked if I’d like him to put ‘autistic traits’ and wait for an adhd assessment before confirming the autism diagnosis (to see it the meds revealed more traits) and I didn’t know what to say (because a lot of my issues are also processing information on the spot which made the assessment difficult). He said he was convinced I was autistic so gave me a diagnosis but now I feel really anxious it’s the wrong diagnosis.Has anyone else on here got both? I wondered how this presented for you and what you’ve found helpful. I feel like no one would believe me if I said I had either condition (I’m too much of a planner’ to be adhd but too disordered to be ASD). I can also be very chatty when nervous or speaking about my special interest but get burnout after social occasions.
I'm at the beginning of your journey with my daughter who sounds just like yourself,I hope you find the answers you're looking for and if I may ask how do you manage your burn outs as my daughter in the midst of something and hasn't left her room since the weekend? Xx
Thank you. I also hide away and don’t answer calls/messages - I’ve come to accept I can’t force myself to do much or I suffer headaches and further exhaustion or illness. I do a lot of drawing which calms me - I find listening to music at the same time and occupying two or more senses with positive things provides good distraction from my overthinking. I mainly focus on preventing them now - I avoid scheduling more than one social or public thing a week (such as work meetings/presentations) if I can help it. Thankfully I work for myself so I can schedule time in (often put an out of office on and turn off my phone). When I worked in an office I would rarely do things on evenings or weekends. Having family that allows you space and acceptance is so valuable – sounds like you are doing a great job.