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Singing assemblies

NAS84520
over 1 year ago

I'm looking for advice for my 8yo daughter.

She is currently on the ASD pathway, and really struggles with singing and 'calming' music. She has been allowed to stay out of singing assemblies for over a year, but school have now implemented singing into every assembly. School are insisting that she needs to go into these assemblies as "In life things will happen that she needs to get used to"....

She becomes instantly distressed with these songs, and will sit with her in-ear plugs in, and her hands on her ears and cry throughout the whole singing part. As she has no formal diagnosis yet, I'm struggling to get the SENCO on board to keep her out of these assemblies, or to allow her to leave when songs start.

Any advice on my next steps?

Thanks in advance!

Parents
  • over 1 year ago

    This is so wrong and cruel of the school. 

    In life yes these things happen, but as an adult autistic, if something is making me so uncomfortable I need to protect myself and walk away from it. As an adult I have that freedom. 

    So what the school is saying is not helpful at all, and is not in any shape or form preparing her for adult life. 

    It is forcing her to do something that is traumatic for her. That is cruel. I happen to like singing and music. 

    But if I was being forced into an uncomfortable situation maybe very loud music that was sore to my ears, but they said that I must remain and listen knowing that it was causing me upset I would say that that could be viewed as abuse. She must never be forced into anything that causes her great distress at all, as that kind of force is a type of abuse. 

    I would explain to them that that is what it is. 

    It is the same as being made to sit beside someone who constantly prods your arm with a pen, I am guessing they would remove and save her from that! yet this situation with the music is causing her distress and sensory overload and is just as cruel as being prodded with a pen in ones arm. Same thing. 

    I hope this helps in explaining why it is wrong to the school. This will be too traumatic to her. 

    She might be pitch perfect which means those singing out of tune will deeply traumatise her. 

Reply
  • over 1 year ago

    This is so wrong and cruel of the school. 

    In life yes these things happen, but as an adult autistic, if something is making me so uncomfortable I need to protect myself and walk away from it. As an adult I have that freedom. 

    So what the school is saying is not helpful at all, and is not in any shape or form preparing her for adult life. 

    It is forcing her to do something that is traumatic for her. That is cruel. I happen to like singing and music. 

    But if I was being forced into an uncomfortable situation maybe very loud music that was sore to my ears, but they said that I must remain and listen knowing that it was causing me upset I would say that that could be viewed as abuse. She must never be forced into anything that causes her great distress at all, as that kind of force is a type of abuse. 

    I would explain to them that that is what it is. 

    It is the same as being made to sit beside someone who constantly prods your arm with a pen, I am guessing they would remove and save her from that! yet this situation with the music is causing her distress and sensory overload and is just as cruel as being prodded with a pen in ones arm. Same thing. 

    I hope this helps in explaining why it is wrong to the school. This will be too traumatic to her. 

    She might be pitch perfect which means those singing out of tune will deeply traumatise her. 

Children
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