Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm the Grandma of a 19 year old. He's been diagnosed as dispraxic, dislexic & possible aspergers. He's struggled all his life , no friends at school , bullied etc.
He's very, very interested in astronomy and has just started a foundation year in astronomy/physics. However he says he's getting stressed & struggling and is talking of leaving. It's everything he's ever wanted and I'm so sad for him. He's above average IQ and a good memory.
I dread him leaving University as I've no idea what type of job he could do. I hate the thought of him doing a boring job when he was so looking forward to a career in astronomy.
Could anyone give me any advice for him or suggestions for his future?
many thanks
Just curious, which university is he at, I intend to look up their rankings in astronomy/physics and entrance requirements.
Unfortunately astronomy and physics do involve a fair amount of maths.
My advice is not to leave of his own free will. If they try to throw him out try to get them to suggest an alternative more suitable course .
PS I had struggles at school and was bullied, too. I had no friends. I finally went to uni at 28 when I was a fair bit older than the others there and didn't feel the pressures I might have felt at 18 or 19. At that age, there is so much pressure to join, to belong, to diversify with interests... and to not feel left out by your peers. At 28, I just found my niche and stuck to it. Didn't have a single friend in all of that time - but that wasn't what I was there for. A few years might make a lot of difference to him, whereas now the pressures might be just a little too much to handle.
On the positive side...
I hope it doesn't come to it - but if he does leave uni, it isn't the end of the world. As others have said, there's more than one way to get a degree. I did a lot of my studying on my own, during the evenings and weekends, whilst holding down a dull day job. Whatever happens, he'll find his path. Leaving uni won't mean giving up on his interests or his dreams. Uni isn't for everyone - as many of the world's top-class minds and innovators will testify.
Granted, many of these people had other advantages... but many others didn't...
https://www.buzzfeed.com/ashleyperez/23-famous-dropouts-who-turned-out-just-fine?utm_term=.kpqAmpOaz#.smmnBavzx
Thanks ... it's something worth thinking about.
Dont think he's had much help at all. He's now reached rick bottom, his IBS has kicked in & he thinks he will be thrown out soon.
He's struggling with the maths aspect of the course. He's now faces a mountain that he can't climb ( he thinks ) He's very defeated & thinks he will get thrown out shortly. Heartbreaking!!!
Leaving university and leaving university study are two seperate things. For example the Open University offer a degree in Austronomy and Planetary Science.... there is more than one way to get a degree.
http://www.open.ac.uk/courses/qualifications/q64-ast
Both other posted replies are very sound advice
Has he contacted the disability services dept? They could support him with accessing an autism mentor to discuss his issues and strategies for coping. They could also provide support with a study skills tutor and maybe a proofreader due to his dyslexia.
What is he struggling with?
Is it the academic side or the social life (or lack of it)? Or is one affecting the other.
If he does leave he will regret it for the rest of his life, thinking what might have been.
So try to find out what the real problem is and help him in some way!