Published on 12, July, 2020
Yesterday my 10 year old son had his first violent meltdown which has completely shocked me. Although he is prone to meltdowns and will bang doors, stamp on the floor and scream at the top of his voice he is never violent. Yesterday after a meltdown I went to speak to him after when I thought he'd calmed down, he obviously hadn't calmed down enough because he launched at me and put his hands around my throat in total rage. His hands were gripped as hard as they could be. It was only for a few seconds and then he let go realising what he'd done and apologised over and over. I wasn't too sure how to handle it, you don't expect your loving little boy to ever hate you so much he'd try and strangle you.
When he'd calmed down I told him that he was banned from all his games consoles indefinitely until I felt he had earned the right to have them back and I told him that I forgave him this time but that I'd never forgive him if he did it again.
I'm worried that he could do it again if I'm not strict enough with him but I'm also worried that if I'm too strict he'll never forgive himself and may become depressed.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation.
I can only speak from the experience with my son. I tried the talking approach for years all the way up until now. It never achieved anything. As the psychiatrists keep telling me aspergers is a learning disability. He could never learn from discussions with me or anyone, the normally innate mental faculty of emotional learning is absent in him. As for understanding him I myself identify with many of his thought processes as I had a very troubled time in my youth and these days I would probably have been diagnosed HFAS. But I have overcome my difficulties because I am lucky to have insight into my own mental state. He does not. He has a very superficial understanding. I could go on needless to say because no one can help him his life and our lives are now a living hell. My strategy of ignoring his more extreme behaviours are the last resort.