Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I have never posted on a forum before, but I am unsure about what to do next. My son is 15 and in year 11, he was diagnosed with Aspergers and anxiety in year 7, he has always been in mainstream education. He has mostly coped, his strategy is to be the invisible boy at school and would rather die than break a school rule. He has reserved his meltdowns for home. He goes to the large comprehensive school closest to our home, so he has been around the same group of kids since nursery as we found change difficult for him.
Unfortunately the 6th form of our school is selective, all along I've been told don't worry he'll get in, including by the senco. He doesn't have a statement, but the school have provided a lunch club for sen kids and he has a small group of goodfriends from this.
The problems began in February after his mock exams, his anxiety escalated and he stopped being able to go to school. He was referred to camhs and he is getting therapy and help from them. He did not return to school and so missed all the revision lessons. He has managed to go in for a few of his exams. The pressure of taking Gcse's and needing to get the right score just to stay in his school pushed him over the edge. I said he could go into the school's 5th form to retake if needed, but this leads to a complete meltdown.
He needs help with study techniques, life skills and communication.
He has a place at this 6th form and the other localcomprehensive school, but he didn't even take hisEnglish exam. Will he cope with 6th form if he gets in? Are there any special needs 6th forms, even private ones? Are there any summer schools to help with the transition process? I am looking into a learning difficulty assessment, but the senco has never heard of it!
Advice please!
Is it time for him to start taking hold of his own situation and being master of his own destiny a bit more. At 15 he may be just feeling buffeted and badgered by the demands of everything and perhaps he is now old enough to start to take more initiative? If the pressure is allowed to mount then it might overwhelm him entirely.
What does he think of having Asperger's? Does he think that it is disability that is spoiling his life or has he come to terms with it and can see that it is not all doom and gloom?
Longman will hate my next suggestion but I'm going to do it anyway. If Longman, or anyone else have a better or different alternative then I hope they will chip in. I've been using a book "Living Well On the Spectrum" by Valerie Gaus. This is all about understanding the effect of autistic thinking and communication patterns and it provides structured problem solving techniques to deal with situations. The whole thing is about taking a positive approach and it might help build his confidence. I think that the language in the book should be entirely accessible for a 15 year old with his educational achievements.I wonder if he might be able to use its structured approaches, with your help, to take more control of his own life.
There are other books such as Aspergers for Dummies that take a similar practical approach and there may be other books that are more suitable, I can only recommond Gaus' book because I have read it and it seemed to hit the spot nicely.