Gcse meltdown, what do we do now? Please advise

2kids1dog hasn't posted on the forum since this enquiry in June, so I do hope things have got better. If 2kids1dog is still following the forum we would be interested to know how your son is doing this teaching year.

As to R-socks reference to my views, I keep saying balance.... OK Aspergers for Dummies & Gaus is two books, so I guess that's moving in the direction of balance.

Is it time for him to start taking hold of his own situation and being master of his own destiny a bit more. At 15 he may be just feeling buffeted and badgered by the demands of everything and perhaps he is now old enough to start to take more initiative? If the pressure is allowed to mount then it might overwhelm him entirely.

What does he think of having Asperger's? Does he think that it is disability that is spoiling his life or has he come to terms with it and can see that it is not all doom and gloom?

Longman will hate my next suggestion but I'm going to do it anyway. If Longman, or anyone else have a better or different alternative then I hope they will chip in. I've been using a book "Living Well On the Spectrum" by Valerie Gaus. This is all about understanding the effect of autistic thinking and communication patterns and it provides structured problem solving techniques to deal with situations. The whole thing is about taking a positive approach and it might help build his confidence. I think that the language in the book should be entirely accessible for a 15 year old with his educational achievements.I wonder if he might be able to use its structured approaches, with your help, to take more control of his own life.

There are other books such as Aspergers for Dummies that take a similar practical approach and there may be other books that are more suitable, I can only recommond Gaus' book because I have read it and it seemed to hit the spot nicely.

 Hi all its great on here

Hi Coogybear, thanks for your reply, that's really helpful. I will look into transition  to 6th form, his 6th form have said he might be able to drop an a level to retake his English. But there is no guarantee he will even get in, or keep up as it suddenly becomes a selective school! 

We live in North east London. It sounds like I need to investigate all the resources in our area. 

Thank you

Hi 2kids1dog

My experience of LDA's has been a real mixed bag. I have two on the spectrum and at two different Colleges.

It's not the LDA's content that is the problem. They can be really well written and cover all bases, however, the colleges/6th forms ability or inclination to deliver them, varies hugely. Unlike statements they are not legally binding and less scrupulous Colleges take advantage of that. One College for my son is highly proactive and supports him greatly, my other son has just been abandonded by his College with no support, some highly questionable practices and a policy of dropping students down to levels below the level comensurate with the students abilty to keep apparent 'success' grades high. Far from helping the student this only serves to demoralize them. If you contact a College/6th form find out if they have experience with LDA's. Ask other students at these colleges or their parents how well they feel their LDA's support their needs and if they are being fully honoured.

My son had a similar meltdown during his GCSE's, but by the time the Targeted Youth worker became involved it was too late. His input was fairly mininmal to say the least. Very often these strategies have to be parent driven. You may need to ask your current SENCO for transition days to the 6th form and additional support, although you may not have much time left now.

Preparation is key, even if it means he has to stay back a year. (Although this can be very demoralizing for some.)

It's my understanding that functional skills. (Math eng etc) are very often carried forward if not achieved at a C Grade in School so it may be that he can move on without his English. The only problem my sons experience with that, is that they are also profoundly Dyslexic, so they may have to keep retaking the Exam Over and Over. My sons on his 4th attempt now. Equally demoralizing.

It's very common to reach overload the higher up the academic ladder one climbs. Having startegies in place to ease stress levels is important. If he goes to college get them to consider letting him do less. My son was due to take 4 AS levels and drop 1, but has sat three and done his Eng GCSE resit instead. It's about what is manageble for him. The upside of course, is that he gets to study what he wants rather than whats compulsory.

As for his life skills, I totally agree that following them through is the right thing. My boys suffer greatly with money management and i'm desparate to get them on a tailored budgeting skills course or something similar, but keep being told by our Autism Centre that their is no funding and they will have to wait until they are 18 and under adult services. I'd happily pay privately if i could, but the Autism Centre don't seem open to this level of independance which is frustrating. This is not helpful when you want your child to have as many independance skills as possible. If this is an area your son struggles with, NAS do a good book on money matters to help, but your son has to be receptive to sitting with you to learn and it sounds like he's stressed enough right now.

I'm not sure what area you live, but you may have services close to you that can advise further. Sorry I can't help more. Hope it all goes well.

Regards

Coogybear xx

Thank you for your comments, I am sorry it has taken me a while to post my reply as I am not very technical and my last two replies disappeared into the ether when I tried to add an emoticon! My son has given me some help, so hopefully this will work.  It is really reassuring to know that we are not alone, my boy would like to progress to University and hopefully will find studying subjects that make sense to him a better experience, so you give me hope.

I am trying to look forward to the future now to see what options may be available to him. we are trying for a learning difficulty assessment through the school and I am trying to find out if there are any autism friendly 6th forms. His school has been good up to now, providing a safe space for break times and with friendship groups (two of his close friends also have Aspergers) But I need to become clear about what he needs for the next step as clearly he has not had enough support up til now, or we wouldn't be in the current situation. 

My thoughts about communication skills, learning skills and life skills are that he will need to work on these in the near future as part of preparing him to move forward, and towards independence.

:)

It is not unlikely he is taking up too much mental energy going through various permutations of the consequences of not passing that it is taking a toll on his ability to study.

Also wonder if being the invisible boy means that there is a high level of ragging because he is different, and the easiest way to deal with things is to try not to get noticed. As tensions build up over GCSEs amongst his peers there may be more inclination for them to take it out on him.

It might be useful to get him to keep a diary of all the things worrying him and share them with you. There may be some anxieties you can defuse and explain away, or things you can do to reduce the number of issues.

You can also reassure him about the balance between his abilities and his irrational fears about these abilities.

Sounds a bit late in the day to be talking about study techniques, life skills and communication, when his difficulties with these are right up front blocking his life prospect right now, large as mountains. Communication difficulties are part of the autism so why do they need to be addressed now? Life Skills are a consequence of the autism - what are they doing on the current agenda?

Study skills issues do seem to land on everyone pretty fast, I don't think the schools do enough to prepare young people for these events. But study techniques are going to be different from an autism perspective. Memory might be better, but organising information and prioritising may be much harder.

Repeating a year is no simple matter. The unfamiliar peer group and the fact he is an older boy doing a year again will not make it easy to get good outcomes, and I can understand if he is anxious about how a new peer group will treat him. That could well be playing on his mind at the moment, one of the distractions from his studies.

There are colleges where you can do an intensive resit if he is up to that kind of supported studying.

It seems a shame few schools are up to speed enough on autistic spectrum support needs. These crises must happen hundreds of times in many schools across the country every year, but nothing changes.

However, although it is difficult, many people have had to go through it, and it is resolvable if painful. If anything, in the circumstances, it ought to be made much easier for children on the spectrum to stagger these assessments.

Also although diagnosed late in life, and although at the milder, manageable end, I had a dreadful time at school, with a lot of bullying and ragging, and with no obvious excuse no support. I sat too many of my day equivalent of GCSEs and failed most of them, and resat over two subsequent years and just got into a deeper mire. I still went on to get a PhD in my late twenties.