OCD? Internalised PDA? Or is it just another autistic trait my sons developed?

Lau said:

I am now wondering if this is early warning signs of OCD? Does he feel so uncomfortable in his surroundings at school that he’s wanting his workload increased as a coping mechanism.

Is what he’s experiencing internalised PDA? freeze/fawn internalised meltdowns? Is he over working himself as that’s a way of gaining his autonomy and asserting control over himself as he can’t control his surroundings? 

I strongly suggest seeking advice on these concerns / questions / potential issues from the medical professionals who are overseeing your son's care - such as his GP and/or his new educational psychologist who you mention in one of your replies here (including considering asking for a second opinion, if you feel dissatisfied with any of their responses).

As this community's rules stress, it's not a good idea to rely on medical advice that any of us here might offer to each other, regardless of our good intentions or how well informed we might seem to be:

" Users should not provide medical or legal advice to other users. Giving medical or legal advice can have serious consequences, even if you’re trying to help another member. Please suggest they get advice from a professional. "

Mum's worry! We accidentally calculate all outcomes... it's a natural talent!! You're doing amazing.

If he wants to go back to school the next day, then the crying is probably just a way of processing overwhelm and releasing everything. It's actually a healthy way to shake off the day and this can be from sensory overwhelm along with social. One has to be more worried about children who hold back and repress emotions. But, social activities can be incredibly exhausting.  I used to cry when exhausted - eventually I knew it meant I needed to sleep. As I got older I put up sufficient boundaries and disciplines so to not get so overwhelmed. But kids can cope to some degree if they enjoy it.

From what I understand, it's the Typical 'wiring' in the brain which will have these strong connexions in the regions identified with social programming and social linguistics, which is apparently Left-Hemisphere. But for Autistics, it seems we're simply not as asymmetrically wired with strong, pruned connexions here. We do end up exhausting ourselves in social situations trying to engage in ways that then feel unnatural or difficult to internally make 'work'. There's a lot being discovered, but I have a feeling Autistics are much more Right Hemisphere thinkers and perceivers. 

It sounds like he has a 'lust for life' - party hard (at the library), go home exhausted. And when young, moderation is hard. But also, Autistics are intensely impacted - we don't desensitise the same. So everything is turned up to 11. Making insightful connexions doesn't just feel liberating but can provide a magical experience, quite powerful. I think this is why our interests are referred to as "Special", when... they're just interests! Joy is joy. Sadness is sadness. But since we don't desensitise the same, everything impacts us far more intensely and in turn, we externally respond appropriate to these internal impacts. It's ADHD-grade intensity (and this is something we have in common). 

2nd, Flow State - is so important to development. If you're familiar with Slow vs Fast thinking (we all use both), but it seems to me, Autistics only learn and often default toward Slow thinking. 

He'll just need to learn moderation as he gets older, and you sound like this might be a value of yours, too. He'll simply learn through childhood in small ways that affect him. For instance, allowing more than enough time for transitions - extra time and extra endearing reminders before leaving or changes, it can be much easier for him to then learn the art. Even one day per week eating in moderation can help attune the body to becoming aware of limits (small bites throughout the day rather than full meals). We have introverted days in our home. I also think it's valuable at least once a week, all day immersion in a book or game unsupervised, the ability to do whatever whenever (to a degree), uninterrupted except the occasional reminder if one needs the loo or to eat. It really helps with Social recovery. And as he gets older, he may then be able to request it, before breaking down, which is eventually the goal. 

Seems to me you're raising one more excellent human this world needs :) 

Thank you that’s such a lovely message, you’re great with words. He loves numbers, he says he likes even numbers and doesn’t like odd numbers. He also loves writing numbers. He says the alphabet A1 B2 C3 and so on. He watches number blocks and can sing his times tables but if you were to ask him a random times table question he wouldn’t know the answer. 

He enjoys science experiments and he has a great memory of events that have happened, even from events prior to him having language.

He really is such a kind natured boy and I know I’m biased as I’m his mother but I do feel he will achieve great things aslong as he feels supported and is in the right environments that understand him. He is dedicated to his after school clubs and will never miss a day. 

when you mentioned about being in a flow state makes a lot of sense as I see that at home when he’s focused on his special interest toy or an activity or even a cartoon it has to be watched until the end. I will watch the link you sent. So interrupting his flow of school work would cause him more harm. Which I didn’t think of. 

At times I may over analyse his behaviours but I want to support him in the correct way. I worry about the harm school can cause to autistic children but I am also very aware that I’m not able to give him the education and experiences school can give him.

Do you think the crying and feeling exhausted after school is just something that will be his normal now? It makes me worry that he ends up in burn out. 

He is in a sen base full time. 

He isn’t able to tell the time yet. I use a daily schedule at home on the weekends & holidays and I have a weekly visual calendar that is on the living room wall With proper pictures of where he will be throughout the week for school/home/club/outings/appointments to try help him make sense of his week. 

He wears ear defenders when he’s with me outwith the house and at his afterschool club. School have said he doesn’t always wear them in school.

I asked for a weekly school time table and the teachers response was I can’t share that with you as it’s not set in stone what we will do each week. I said that really not helpful as he asks me to call the school to see what he’s going to be doing each morning. She just said I’m sorry but I can’t give you a timetable as it’s subject to change. 

With the loud noise I think it’s more to do with worrying why a baby was crying and him asking if the dog didn’t like him, how he could think the dog didn’t like him just broke my heart. 

School have a very different view of my son to what I do and they see him as more capable and managing school better than what I would say he is.

Last year I had to record him in vulnerable moments having meltdowns and shutdowns when he was leaving to go to school and coming home from school to show the educational psychologist how challenging he was finding things. She said it looked like his nervous system was at it’s limit and he was exhausted from the school day. Which was great that someone seen what I seen but this year it’s a new teacher, new support assistants and new educational psychologist who all see him as doing well. 

The outcome of OCD is harm. To quote, "Obsessions are recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced as intrusive and unwanted", Compulsions are irrational, not a passion. They often involve self harm.

OCD is not immaturity. Where one needs to learn the discipline of rest. Children don't want to sleep or have baths for fear of missing out - they want to play, learn, immerse, be wild. Who can sleep when the universe is filled with wonder. OCD is not perfectionism, which a guitarist can be driven by to rehearse daily for 8-12 hours. But a musician can also be driven by a desire to get out of poverty as well as the hypnotic joy of being immersed in sound. OCD is not absent insight on how to trouble shoot and solve a complex problem or fix a disconnect. We can be driven by immaturity, lack of knowledge, an internal image of connexion or the solution, but remain in the dark on how to get there. And when wisdom is not afforded to the young, nor the decades of experience and work plus guidance to obtain a PhD, those who can envision a thing well beyond their power can feel overwhelmed, literally driven by this frustration. OCD, however, is Trauma-Based. 

Last, OCD is not often riddled with a wild imagination that cannot “unsee” a thing one should not have been exposed to, or a wild imagination/intellect connecting social structures to imagery in order to make sense of the world. I’ve heard mothers discuss the inability to not think of all the danger their children could encounter, but only in the last few years has this been mislabelled as “intrusive thoughts”, when it is simply good parenting. 

It is a biological difference of GABA which I've found with Autism. I take a nootropics supplement with Lion's Mane to help with a sense of calm, focus, gut-health and sleep cycle. 

What you're describing is a amazing autistic kid who's dealing with a loss in communication (as all autistics do - we use vocal words and language different) and an intellect beyond his years / age. 

Sums: This is amazing. He's enamoured with numbers. There's so much here - Maths and Physics are closely connected. To think of a sum in all its forms and shapes (different sums) is not a skill or inclination everyone possesses. I love this, personally. 

Couple this with the Autistic: 1. need for resolution, 2. our unique hyper focus and  3. sense-perceiving everything with a greater intensity than others, including emotions such as awe, wonder, epiphany, intrigue along with disappointment and frustration. Numbers are fascinating, and every new discovery is a dopamine hit. Ask any good mathematician, it's pure magic. I read an article sometime back by a maths professor who said that we're not teaching match correctly to children. If they could see Natural Physics through numbers they'd queue up to drink in the material. I have a brother in physics and one who teaches maths. Any professor would give their wand to mentor someone so enchanted.

Lau said:

he wants to finish a full worksheet even when the Rest of the class are having brain breaks

He doesn't need a 'brain break'. He's in a flow. To break that flow state can feel actually painful for us. See Autistic Inertia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUFDAevkd3E

Lau said:

Does he feel so uncomfortable in his surroundings at school that he’s wanting his workload increased as a coping mechanism.

Everything you're describing is part and parcel to Autism with a high intellect. When our body doesn't function as we desire, it's crushing, if sometimes embarrassing. Heightened sensitivity to the world coupled with a difficulty predicting social nuance and social cues means humans (except those in our intimate circle) are entirely unpredictable. When one feels more in tune with the natural world (physics) and less to the social, it is the social realm which possesses grave danger. And how to predict this? But also, school is a competitive space where they don't openly state you need to exhaust yourself, but there are all kinds of implied expectations. Remember, we take everything literally. Every test, mark and subtle comment to apply the self we take to mean anything less than 100 is disappointing. People often say things in passing, or to help motivate, they won't think before they speak or recall things stated that an Autistic could take the wrong way. 

A higher intellect means we employ hyper-vigilance, especially when we experience executive dysfunction or notice differences and realise this in contrast to others. We're often heavy Right hemisphere types, the side which taps into an infinite/momentary time stream and is open to anything being anything. And when life is like this, it's crucial to find solid ground somehow. 

I want to say a thing on OCD, which is widely misunderstood... I'll add a reply.

OCD is common in autistic people, but I'm not qualified to advise you if he has this - you would need to consult a medical professional. Does he have SEN support at school? Can they arrange for him to see a child psychologist?

I am wondering why the school are giving 6 year olds worksheets that are so long they need "brain breaks" to prevent becoming exhausted? I understand his need to complete them, so could they cut the sheets up into two or three, then give him one piece at a time to complete?

Regarding his noise sensitivity, maybe think about him using headphones in situations where you can expect loud noises - you can't always avoid it though, so if he does get panicky just allow him quiet time in a safe space to recover.

I would also suggest making up a schedule for when he is to have a shower, get dressed, have breakfast etc.  I don't know if he can read well or tell the time yet (understanding time is unusual before age 7) so the schedule can be in a picture sequence format - for example you could have a picture of a shower, then one of a toothbrush, then one of some clothes, then one of a bowl of cereal - then tell him when it is time to start and he can follow the sequence through.

It's a good idea you had to set him an example of taking breaks - hopefully this will in time help him to realise he can stop and relax periodically.