is this normal behaviour?

First time posting, hello!! my daughter is 9yrs is autistic awaiting adhd diagnosis too, she often tell us she wants to kill herself, has grabbed a knife before and took to the wrist. We took it off her and hid all sharp things from her. She constantly belittles her dad telling him he is rubbish, useless, pushed him in front of a school coach hoping he would die!

Did a cahms referral and chums both were rejected, we are told wanting to kill them self is normal for an autistic child which we believe is not true. 

Please tell me this is not right, i have done another self-referral this morning to Cahms worth another try and not sure who else to speak too. My husband is great but he struggles with her, and dont think really gets autism. What can we do, any suggestions?