Published on 12, July, 2020
First time posting, hello!! my daughter is 9yrs is autistic awaiting adhd diagnosis too, she often tell us she wants to kill herself, has grabbed a knife before and took to the wrist. We took it off her and hid all sharp things from her. She constantly belittles her dad telling him he is rubbish, useless, pushed him in front of a school coach hoping he would die!
Did a cahms referral and chums both were rejected, we are told wanting to kill them self is normal for an autistic child which we believe is not true.
Please tell me this is not right, i have done another self-referral this morning to Cahms worth another try and not sure who else to speak too. My husband is great but he struggles with her, and dont think really gets autism. What can we do, any suggestions?
I was an autistic child and never once did I consider suicide - it is definitely not normal!
I didn't have a very happy childhood. It was very structured and fairly strict, but I think that was a good thing in some ways. Nobody knew I was autistic then, and I was expected to behave well so I mostly did.
You are obviously a caring parent, but these days it's popular to be very "child centred" and put their wants and needs first, but often a child doesn't know what is best for them. Be considerate but firm - let her know there will be consequences if she abuses her father (or anyone else). Put a schedule in place for her activities for each day, and try to make time to teach her things - making her bed, washing up, baking, folding clothes, to help her become more independent as she gets older. And think about enrolling her in a martial arts class to get rid of her energy and anger and teach her self restraint.
Also, contact your GP and say it is not acceptable for a suicidal patient to be left untreated. If necessary, complain to your local health authority or contact your MP.
I wish you well.
Exactly right. Be aware that providing your child with structure can lead to some pushback (I certainly don't like being told what to do), but between that and the alternative, it's definitely better to give your child firm consistency and guidance.