Autism at University

Your daughter must be incredibly brave to choose to move away from home, even if she is struggling. In a way, it is a transition from childhood to adulthood, so one long term positive could be that it prepares her for what more is to come. However, that doesn't really help with now.

I'm afraid I don't have any useful advice, I just wanted to explain how I felt at university over 20 years ago. I too moved away from home to study and it immediately felt like such a shock to my system, how different life became. I did not know I was autistic back then, so I didn't understand why I didn't seem to fit in with anyone, or why I felt so alien compared to everyone else. I eventually came to the (wrong) conclusion that I should stay away from people and just focus on studying, but that led to significant long term problems. Even though staying in my room was a safe space, the isolation did end up becoming crippling. I always went to lectures and made sure I ate etc, but I actively avoided all social contact. I would even listen out for people in the hallway until I was certain it was empty before leaving the room. I talked to no-one for my whole first year.

I did eventually make 2 close friends, which helped for the remainder of the course, otherwise I don't know what would have happened to me. In the end that is what is important - on some level your daughter should be allowed to feel safe, but on another be encouraged to explore outside more. How that is done I don't know - some suggestions here about support groups are things I was not aware of, so they sound like positive possibilities. All I know is that she should not end up like I did, it is not a healthy way to live.

Your daughter must be incredibly brave to choose to move away from home, even if she is struggling. In a way, it is a transition from childhood to adulthood, so one long term positive could be that it prepares her for what more is to come. However, that doesn't really help with now.

I'm afraid I don't have any useful advice, I just wanted to explain how I felt at university over 20 years ago. I too moved away from home to study and it immediately felt like such a shock to my system, how different life became. I did not know I was autistic back then, so I didn't understand why I didn't seem to fit in with anyone, or why I felt so alien compared to everyone else. I eventually came to the (wrong) conclusion that I should stay away from people and just focus on studying, but that led to significant long term problems. Even though staying in my room was a safe space, the isolation did end up becoming crippling. I always went to lectures and made sure I ate etc, but I actively avoided all social contact. I would even listen out for people in the hallway until I was certain it was empty before leaving the room. I talked to no-one for my whole first year.

I did eventually make 2 close friends, which helped for the remainder of the course, otherwise I don't know what would have happened to me. In the end that is what is important - on some level your daughter should be allowed to feel safe, but on another be encouraged to explore outside more. How that is done I don't know - some suggestions here about support groups are things I was not aware of, so they sound like positive possibilities. All I know is that she should not end up like I did, it is not a healthy way to live.