Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter has recently been diagnosed with ASD. I've noticed for some time that she will avoid eating when she is feeling anxious. Today was the first day back at school so she was very anxious and said she didn't want to eat the breakfast options I provided. She also rarely, if ever, eats at school. We've tried school dinners and packed lunches however mostly these go uneaten. I am very worried as today she refused breakfast - no matter what I offered and ultimately she could have had anything she wanted - and had to go into school on her first day back in a new year (year 1 of primary - new teacher, new classroom etc) on a completely empty stomach. My wife feels that we shouldn't add more pressure on her to eat before school and should allow her body autonomy (whatever that is?) but I know how not eating breakfast effects children's concentration and learning, their mood etc. I don't know what to do for the best. I feel like trying to explain in the nicest possible way that eating before school will make her feel better overall and help her enjoy her school day. But my wife feels differently and says she is displaying PDA symptoms and that we should approach it from that perspective. I would really appreciate some advice on this from anyone with experience. Basically, do we trade off sending her to school on an empty stomach so she doesn't feel pressured into eating, with starting her day off with a good breakfast that will help make her day more enjoyable. Or is there something in between? Than you. John
NAS95772 said: I've noticed for some time that she will avoid eating when she is feeling anxious
Oh I learned to never eat when anxious! It will pass right through me and who knows if I'll make it to the loo! Many of us have gut related issues.
One theory on autism differences is a difficulty with prediction called the Bayesian Theory. And it seems some of the new research on biological differences back this up. Life is chaotic and random, especially in social situations. We aren't socially programmed the same due to a difference in how we use linguistics. So being thrown into anything new without a proper acclimation period isn't just unnerving.
I wish schools made accommodations for Autistic children and allowed them to go in a week before, find a spot and sit quietly in their new room to feel a sense of connexion and grounding to the surroundings. Once the room fills with students, the seemingly invisible 'essence' of everyone can metaphysically lather the whole room and leave no where for me to find a sense of connexion. Autistics rarely find connexion with others, so there is no sense of feeling safe. It takes a year to get to know someone if they're open to getting to know me and not passing an immediate judgement. I might not be allowed alone time in a space to have a sense of being-with-in, creating a bit of ownership and some sense of grounding.
If the teacher knows this, it would be best for your daughter to have a small snack available every break/hour. Half an oat bar, half a banana, a fruit peeler, a few nuts. This is how a doctor advised me to eat at some point and it really helped. Small bites throughout the day.
If she can eat half a banana first thing, breakfast in bed for a moments cuddle before she's too anxious about the day, this could do the trick, too.