Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi looking for advice. Our boy is 10 yrs old dual diagnosis autism and adhd. He is very articulate and bright but socially likes to be on his own even at school. For the last year he has developed a fear/phonia of wasps and other flying insects. It’s getting worse and we can’t get him outdoors We get him to school but runs into class then refuses to leave the room until it’s home time. I’ve put insect screens on windows as he was refusing to let me open windows. He screams and runs when sees anything flying is hysterical and he is highly vigilant, searching for them. He was almost run over last week. I was parking the car and a wasp landed on the outside of the windscreen, he opened the door and jumped out as car whilst it was moving ran into road a neighbour was coming into street and had to hit her breaks. He was trembling with fear. He has an interest in bugs, animals and sea life and loves reading books about them. Can tell you everything about bugs but isn’t helping his fear. It is impacting on his health and as a family we are becoming isolated as can’t take him anywhere.
he attends CAMHS re adhd meds and I’ve mentioned it when he attends clinic. they need to close windows in the room whilst he is thee but no advice being offered. I feeL he needs support from specialist re this as I fear we will get to point whereby I won’t get him out the house even for school. We had to come home from our holiday early as he refused to leave hotel.
Any advice appreciated and sorry for long post.
"Can tell you everything about bugs but isn’t helping his fear. "
I wonder is that the key to it? Knowledge can't assist with the sensory. I've had a lifelong terror of anything louder or larger than a fruit-fly. (Even those I'm not crazy about). My parents and siblings used to be in disbelief just how paralysed with fear or fast-moving I'd become if a bluebottle/wasp/bee got into the house. Started in childhood, and I still struggle hugely with it - I'm 46 now. As recently as yesterday, a wasp somehow made it through the tiny crack I allow in my car window on the warmest of days, and I was so glad the car was stationary in that moment as the terror that pushed the rational part of my brain into the 'back seat' (as it were) was 11/10 on the 'I can't cope' scale.
About three months ago, I spent two nights sleeping on the sofa after a mosquito took over a section of my house. I realised that over four decades I've not made much progress on closing the gap between how I react to things like that versus a 'normal' person. But I still live independently, have a job, navigate life in general with a degree of common sense and proportionality.
What I've come to realise, especially post-diagnosis. is that I have an very low startle threshold. So loud oscillating buzzing might as well be the Jaws theme, and that erratic richoceting that maddened/frustrated/patrolling flying insects do is 90% of what makes me incapable of common sense in those situations - I am simply overwhelemed. If your sone is in the same boat, there may be no 'fix' as he'd need to be neurally/physiologically rewired, and I imagine that CBD or immersion therapy simply isn't going to cut it as it would with a neurotypical person.
The one piece of advice I would give is try not to unwittingly shame him -it would only be an unintended side-effect of course- by any 'get a grip' type comments. A lot of well-meaning tough love (related to my phobia) was aimed at me growing up via these sort of comments, but all it did was amplify the sense of threat/stress because there were two simultaneous nightmares going on: what felt like mockery and personal failure as a human being, and also the triggering insectoid presence itself. And that cocktail felt horrendous.
Apart from looking after his safety as he chooses a path to flee, maybe just accept that it's how he is and will otherwise be OK.