Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi looking for advice. Our boy is 10 yrs old dual diagnosis autism and adhd. He is very articulate and bright but socially likes to be on his own even at school. For the last year he has developed a fear/phonia of wasps and other flying insects. It’s getting worse and we can’t get him outdoors We get him to school but runs into class then refuses to leave the room until it’s home time. I’ve put insect screens on windows as he was refusing to let me open windows. He screams and runs when sees anything flying is hysterical and he is highly vigilant, searching for them. He was almost run over last week. I was parking the car and a wasp landed on the outside of the windscreen, he opened the door and jumped out as car whilst it was moving ran into road a neighbour was coming into street and had to hit her breaks. He was trembling with fear. He has an interest in bugs, animals and sea life and loves reading books about them. Can tell you everything about bugs but isn’t helping his fear. It is impacting on his health and as a family we are becoming isolated as can’t take him anywhere.
he attends CAMHS re adhd meds and I’ve mentioned it when he attends clinic. they need to close windows in the room whilst he is thee but no advice being offered. I feeL he needs support from specialist re this as I fear we will get to point whereby I won’t get him out the house even for school. We had to come home from our holiday early as he refused to leave hotel.
Any advice appreciated and sorry for long post.
I am paranoid about mosquito bites, but as three Greek mosquito bites on my ankle led to a reaction/ infection that ruined the blood supply and lymphatic system in the affected lower leg, I think I have good reason. Now, I have extensive varicose veins on that leg, but nothing on the other. Though I have reactions to Portuguese, Spanish, French and Italian mosquito bites, they are not on anything like the same scale. Though I love Greece and Greek history, I could not contemplate going there again, except perhaps in the middle of winter.
I'm almost certain I'm immune to that, for the reasons I mentioned. But something to ponder (as I have many times), thanks :-)
What you are describing is a phobia. There are therapists who specialise in treating phobias through gradual desensitisation, you may have to pay and go private to access one in a reasonable time frame.
"Can tell you everything about bugs but isn’t helping his fear. "
I wonder is that the key to it? Knowledge can't assist with the sensory. I've had a lifelong terror of anything louder or larger than a fruit-fly. (Even those I'm not crazy about). My parents and siblings used to be in disbelief just how paralysed with fear or fast-moving I'd become if a bluebottle/wasp/bee got into the house. Started in childhood, and I still struggle hugely with it - I'm 46 now. As recently as yesterday, a wasp somehow made it through the tiny crack I allow in my car window on the warmest of days, and I was so glad the car was stationary in that moment as the terror that pushed the rational part of my brain into the 'back seat' (as it were) was 11/10 on the 'I can't cope' scale.
About three months ago, I spent two nights sleeping on the sofa after a mosquito took over a section of my house. I realised that over four decades I've not made much progress on closing the gap between how I react to things like that versus a 'normal' person. But I still live independently, have a job, navigate life in general with a degree of common sense and proportionality.
What I've come to realise, especially post-diagnosis. is that I have an very low startle threshold. So loud oscillating buzzing might as well be the Jaws theme, and that erratic richoceting that maddened/frustrated/patrolling flying insects do is 90% of what makes me incapable of common sense in those situations - I am simply overwhelemed. If your sone is in the same boat, there may be no 'fix' as he'd need to be neurally/physiologically rewired, and I imagine that CBD or immersion therapy simply isn't going to cut it as it would with a neurotypical person.
The one piece of advice I would give is try not to unwittingly shame him -it would only be an unintended side-effect of course- by any 'get a grip' type comments. A lot of well-meaning tough love (related to my phobia) was aimed at me growing up via these sort of comments, but all it did was amplify the sense of threat/stress because there were two simultaneous nightmares going on: what felt like mockery and personal failure as a human being, and also the triggering insectoid presence itself. And that cocktail felt horrendous.
Apart from looking after his safety as he chooses a path to flee, maybe just accept that it's how he is and will otherwise be OK.
I became similarly scared of all things flying and buzzing after I was stung in the lip by a wasp when I was 7 or 8 (has someone he knows been stung? This would explain the change in his behaviour). Even now I can only cope with them by putting my fingers in my ears so I don't hear them, closing my eyes so I don't see them, hunching over to protect my nose and waiting until they go away. I don't tend to eat outdoors in case they get in the food. I had read that the more you flap and move about, the more they will bother you, so the best course of action is to remain still. Perhaps there is scope to educate him in safety, since he is already interested in insects. That way, when he is emotionally sensitive to the stimulation, you can remind him of what he knows. Partly it'll be about the unpredictability of knowing where the insect is going, so teaching him how to be ignored by the insects might help.
If the phobia is more complicated than a logical fear of being stung, then he may need counselling?
Have you spoken through the logic of what happened with him, in terms of actions and consequences? How he was feeling, what led him to do things that way, can you explain to him how you know the wasp was on the outside of the car, so he can do this himself?
Do you have child locks in the car? Can you put them on, so that he's not able to get out on his own? I realise this isn't always convenient, but it might be the safest option until he can manage the fear.