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Advice for my autistic son

Billy87
1 month ago

So my son is autistic (I am too btw) and he is currently dealing with a lot of change that he is struggling to process. It's causing him to start becoming irrationally angry and lashing out and shouting about every little thing. 

He has just finished nursery and he is really struggling to process not going back there ever again or seeing his friends there. He is also starting school for the first time in September and is really anxious and struggling to process that change. In addition, I have started working for the first time in 4 months when he is used to having me home all the time which has changed a lot of his usual daily routines

I just want to know 2 things. Firstly, is this normal behaviour for an autistic child facing a lot of change?

Secondly, what can I do to help him process and cope with all the change and manage his emotions better? What techniques or ideas help with this?

Any help would be greatly appreciated 

Parents
  • 30 days ago

    Hi Blush

    First of all - I think this sort of reaction could be expected from any child dealing with this amount of change - not just an autistic child. 
    But I think being autistic definitely makes these things more challenging. 
    Perhaps you could try to bring his focus to all the things in his life that are NOT going to change - and help him to focus on the stability he does have in his life. 
    My first thought is: could he still see his nursery friends sometimes - after school or at the weekend? Or maybe Skype/FaceTime them sometimes? Surely they don’t have to lose touch completely? Does he know anyone at all at the Primary school he is moving to? 
    And in terms of continuity- what will continue as ‘the same’ after he moves to school - for example how he gets ready in the morning, packing his lunch with his favourite foods, or maybe the routine after you pick him up afterwards? Try to reassure him that although there are changes there is also a LOT in his life that WON’T change. Focus his mind on all the things that make him feel safe and secure. 
    It’s not ideal that you going back to work and him moving from nursery to school are happening so close together - but I’m presuming you had little choice about that?  Be patient with him because it is a lot for him to manage - try to communicate to him that to recognise that this is a challenge for him and you understand his emotions, but that you have confidence in his ability to make this change and thrive - because you believe in him. 

Reply
  • 30 days ago

    Hi Blush

    First of all - I think this sort of reaction could be expected from any child dealing with this amount of change - not just an autistic child. 
    But I think being autistic definitely makes these things more challenging. 
    Perhaps you could try to bring his focus to all the things in his life that are NOT going to change - and help him to focus on the stability he does have in his life. 
    My first thought is: could he still see his nursery friends sometimes - after school or at the weekend? Or maybe Skype/FaceTime them sometimes? Surely they don’t have to lose touch completely? Does he know anyone at all at the Primary school he is moving to? 
    And in terms of continuity- what will continue as ‘the same’ after he moves to school - for example how he gets ready in the morning, packing his lunch with his favourite foods, or maybe the routine after you pick him up afterwards? Try to reassure him that although there are changes there is also a LOT in his life that WON’T change. Focus his mind on all the things that make him feel safe and secure. 
    It’s not ideal that you going back to work and him moving from nursery to school are happening so close together - but I’m presuming you had little choice about that?  Be patient with him because it is a lot for him to manage - try to communicate to him that to recognise that this is a challenge for him and you understand his emotions, but that you have confidence in his ability to make this change and thrive - because you believe in him. 

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