Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
this isn’t really an issue more of a please help me make sense of this, Sometimes my brain works against me and thinks the worst or can’t think of any reason.
When my son is with me for example we are in the car or going anywhere like shops, a walk, swimming, or his club he wears ear defenders. If our neighbours are in the garden he asks for his ear defenders. At school as soon as he gets into class he takes them off and he doesn’t wear them.
At home we use visuals and a daily planner he will ask what’s next etc and we go through his planner but In school they say oh he doesn’t really bother with visuals.
If we go to the supermarket he is in his disability buggy but school have taken him to the shops and he’s walked around the store apparently with no issues.
Injusg don’t get it. I’ve said in the past can you please put his ear defenders on him and they say he doesn’t want them. Now I’m thinking do these people think I’m forcing him to use these things.
I'm only making an educated guess here...
My wife pointed out a seeming contradiction with me in that I don't like noisey places, but am OK at a very loud music gig (let's ignore the crowd for now, I have other coping mechanisms for that). This bothered me because on the surface she was right.
After some thought, I realised it's because at a gig, I know the songs. I know what to expect. The music being loud pretty much drowns out any other noises so it's all I can hear. This is not the case with other noisy places.
I am in my 50s and it took me a lot of thought to realise that and be able to express it.
Your child may also have learned the familiar noises of school. They may have learned the timetable, so there are no great surprises. They may not be able to express this though.
Kids want to fit in with their peer group. That may account for him not wanting to wear ear defenders in school, so he does not look different. You don't say how old your son is. My experience is that primary-age kids are often more tolerant of differences, but as they get to secondary age they can form cliques. The question is, is he masking effectively in school? Can you talk to him and ask whether he really doesn't need them in school, or whether he doesn't want to appear different from his peers? It also depends on the attitude of the staff.