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Separation anxiety

Lilac
1 month ago

Hi l have a 9 year old daughter ASD and she isn’t able to separate from me so if l try to go out she becomes distressed, angry and can be very controlling. I find this hard as l can’t even pop to the shop for milk or take the dog out. I have no social life. She also sleep in a bed in our room as she won’t sleep alone. She is showing signs of puppetry starting so this also needs addressing.

She’s been referred for  CBT via BeeU. The nurse said l need to get some control back but it’s not that easy. I don’t want to feed the anxiety but l don’t want to make her worse. 12momths ago she was in constant meltdown and very aggressive and l can’t go back to that. 

Anyone else been through this ?

Thanks

  • 12 days ago

    My ASD daughter exactly the same at age 8 got to the same point as you, would not leave my side day or night. Going into complete crisis if I needed to go out and she just couldn’t cope. Eventually home schooled with a tutor and we got help from a specialist counsellor (not CBT that’s not suitable for ASD) she helped us find coping strategies and take it very very slowly to build up and gain trust and confidence. It’s taken a long time, she’s 14 now and still very much has separation anxiety but I can now go out for a few hours at a time, she’s copes better but it’s not gone. Getting a good counsellor who specialises in ASD really makes the difference. Happy to discuss more if you need, good luck, there’s always hope that things will get better xx

  • 1 month ago

    I asked my therapist friend who works with autistic kids about this and she says..

    Start with very small doses always  and have a way back to the parent open for the child.

    "And I mean BABY steps". She says.

  • 1 month ago
    Lilac said:
    She’s been referred for  CBT via BeeU.

    I believe CBT is not a particularly effective approach for autists due to the way we process information.

    Have you looked for any child therapists who have experience with working with autistic children? My initial thoughts are that you need to get a specialist given the circumstances and severity of the situation.

    How does your daughter cope with school with this level of anxiety?