Published on 12, July, 2020
My son is almost 5 years old and I believe that he is autistic. Although i have recognised traits for some time some of his traits were put down to covid and his lack of contact with people during that time. While he does not have a formal diagnosis, over the past year I have began to keep a note of traits as I see them and feel I notice more all the time.
He is a very happy boy and does not so far seem to display autistic meltdowns. However he starts primary school in August and I am consumed by the want to support him and to try and help him navigate this to the best of my ability. Although I have very supportive family i am struggling to know who best to speak to for advice for both him and myself and my head is filled with questions. For example I am keen to be as proactive as possible however most family i have spoken too seem to suggest wait and see. I would like some advice on how valuable a formal diagnosis would be at this stage? Should I wait to see if any problems arise when he gets to school and try and deal with them as they occur or should i try and intervene early trying to avoid problems before they occur? I suppose every parent hates the thought of their child struggling and either being unaware or not knowing how best to help them. Some days I just feel very overwhelmed by it all and would just love to talk to someone to help put me on the right track. A friend suggested i find an online forum so here I am.
Hi MumofBoys!!
I can offer a little bit of targeted support, I've worked in education all my life (including a primary school for 5 years) and have a lot of experience in Special Educational Needs, and of cause AM A WILDLY PROUD ADULT WITH AUTISM AS WELL.
Oh and I've got a couple of children who have just gone through the education system.
Being autistic and at school is a challenge, but not one which is obviously going to be problematic. I think the best the course of action and one I would advise an friend of mine in the same situation is to allow your son to go to primary school without worrying at this stage about a diagnosis. Allow him to experience life at school with other children, with teachers and the routines of school life in his own way. Give him the same opportunity as the other children to experiences his first steps towards his educational journey as other young people.
There will be lots of opportunity to speak to staff at school about your concerns. The school will have what we call a SENCO (Special Educational Needs Coordinator) in secondary schools, colleges and universities the SENCO can be a role in itself, but for most primary schools who deal in small numbers, the SENCO will often be a responsibility of an existing staff member with an interest in this area of education.
If you shared you observations with the SENCO and explained to them your worries regarding how he may struggle with certain aspects of school life, I'm quite sure that they'll be able to offer you some comfort in the ways in which the school approach children with Autism.
If you explained to them you're interested in pursuing a formal diagnosis, then it'll be something they can arrange through the local authority and educational psychologists (EdSyc's).
There is such a lot of value in getting a diagnosis. Being able to inform this and future schools about your sons autism and how this affects his learning style is really beneficial in terms of the schools being able to provide things like quiet spaces or allowing him "time-outs". I doubt very much there would be any issues at Primary School as the whole system in the UK is based around a very nurturing model, however by the time he gets to secondary school, being aware of how that environment may affect him is very useful.
Good luck and much love x x x
Wow thanks that is useful and really puts my mind at ease a bit about waiting to see how he gets on! I do think his school appears particularly nurturing and approachable for discussion so hopefully this approach works well. THANK YOU!