Published on 12, July, 2020
My son is almost 5 years old and I believe that he is autistic. Although i have recognised traits for some time some of his traits were put down to covid and his lack of contact with people during that time. While he does not have a formal diagnosis, over the past year I have began to keep a note of traits as I see them and feel I notice more all the time.
He is a very happy boy and does not so far seem to display autistic meltdowns. However he starts primary school in August and I am consumed by the want to support him and to try and help him navigate this to the best of my ability. Although I have very supportive family i am struggling to know who best to speak to for advice for both him and myself and my head is filled with questions. For example I am keen to be as proactive as possible however most family i have spoken too seem to suggest wait and see. I would like some advice on how valuable a formal diagnosis would be at this stage? Should I wait to see if any problems arise when he gets to school and try and deal with them as they occur or should i try and intervene early trying to avoid problems before they occur? I suppose every parent hates the thought of their child struggling and either being unaware or not knowing how best to help them. Some days I just feel very overwhelmed by it all and would just love to talk to someone to help put me on the right track. A friend suggested i find an online forum so here I am.
I want to offer other possibilities as some of the Autism spectrum differences like Dyslexia might appear similar. As would an introverted child who will thrive better when allowed to learn their way (it's important to note that what Jung meant by this is slightly different than how it's used today). Introverts may need more time to themselves, but they don't encounter a daily loss in translation when speaking to others.
The key difference with autism is the communication difference (which has been called a deficit in the past, but as new papers are showing, we can communicate just fine with each other). Using different words than peers. Reacting as though they are constantly misheard or being confused about a task when you believe you were very clear. We might struggle to find a word for things, but so will dyslexics. However, autistics often feel an inability to predict the world around, especially socially. One can be overwhelmed and act as if they're in a 'fog' (which is something covid can cause as well as covid changes the gut microbiota, affecting our neurology and can surface as Monotropism). Autistics tend to have unknown allergies and gut issues, but our differences with sensory sensitivities and hyper-focus don't wax and wane. We can learn calculated tools to work with our strengths and limits and take measures to protect our highly sensitive senses, which won't ever filter out or dull like everyone else.
If you had examples of traits, it could be useful for a thread like this. There are a great deal of autistics adults on the site and most of us with shared experience.
That was helpful thanks! The point about him being introverted is very interesting because I myself was a particularly shy child who would find new situations or people quite overwhelming and have assumed for some time that he is the same. However over time I would say the other traits I have noticed is that socially he appears to want to play with other kids and does try to get involved however when he does he is overly tactile with other children, grabbing and hugging them and squeezing their arm with both hands. He also finger postures, jumps around alot on his tiptoes, lines up toys, has an aptitude for number and letters, he is able to read already. That said in relation to Kate Kestrel comment below he does go to nursery and they have never raised any concerns. He participates well in a group setting, taking turns etc without any problems. However I would say the friends he does have seem to tolerate the contant hugging and squeezing which is something i worry about in a school setting