Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
My beautiful late teens boy is struggling with life. His friends are all online now and I'm worried about his future. I support whatever makes him happy even if I don't understand or feel uncomfortable. His open mindedness and sense of self has been nurtured and encouraged but I worry he doesn't have the tools to protect himself against those who could take advantage. He hasn't shown a feminine side whilst growing up but now says he identifies as female. If he truly does then I support this but I worry about the medical ramifications of this and the damage it could do to his body. I'm worried this has been influenced online. I'm not sure what I'm looking for from this post but I feel utterly inadequate to advise or support him on my own.
Trans man here (that means I'm going from female to male).
Try to get your child into contact with the trans community. Real people, not influencers. Look for local LGBTQ groups and encourage them to go along. Being around trans and queer people was what helped me figure out who I am and what I want (and importantly what I don't want) from medical transition. People have been so helpful in talking openly about the effects of hormones and surgery, both positive and negative.
If there's nothing available locally, then look into organisations such as Not A Phase and Gendered Intelligence who run some online support groups.
Definitely get them onto the waiting list for an NHS clinic. They'll wait at least 5 years to be seen, so there's no chance of being rushed into anything, but you need their name on the list now in case they want to transition in future.