Published on 12, July, 2020
My adult son (28) does not acknowledge his ASD diagnosis (which he has had since age 14) and masks his autism (and his learning disabilities) so well that he has been successful in getting jobs that he is entirely unsuited for. These jobs inevitably end badly as his employers realise his skill set is not what the job requires and/or incidents occur. He has completely unrealistic employment aspirations. Has anyone else had this experience and how can I help him become more realistic about work opportunities and open about his ASD with employers and others?
I might be guessing wrong here but maybe try to find any connections between the jobs he is interested in that he seems to not be suited for.
There is a chance that what they have in common could help you understand why he chooses them, and even find what is actually of real interest to him.
For example I always ended up being a server and I am terrible at it. I also created accidents and would get severe anxiety working at places where I was supposed to work so fast with many different people. I realized I tend to reach for such jobs ( and also always to get selected for them ) because I wish to work somewhere where I can help others. But I chose to do this the wrong way. There are many ways to be who you are meant to be, I think. Eventually I had to stop working at cafés, pubs and phone service. I am now a teacher.
I would have never guessed that this was what I wanted to do, but something in me was pulling me towards helping people by serving drinks. I just had to find an alternative. Maybe your son needs to swift his perspective a bit to find his calling.
About the masking, I think every person must find ways to deal with that themselves. It is a very personal thing and even acceptance might take a while, especially if he is still young and trying to find his own way.
Good luck to both of you!