Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, 34 Yr old here with ADHD and mom to 2 AuDHD beautiful children - 4&6 yrs.
Currently married but basically I've been a single parent the entire time. I'm wanting to divorce my husband because he's made it clear that the children and I will never live up to his expectations of what he wants his life to look like so that's my final straw.
I don't want my decision to separate from their father and move into a new home to have a negative impact on them as we currently live with dad and paternal grandparents. They're used to having other family members around all the time and I hate the thought of being isolated.
Can anyone give me any advice on how to go about talking to them about what is going to happen and creating new boundaries with their Dad that won't upset them. They've only ever known us to be affectionate and tactile which is obviously going to drastically change.
Many thanks,
Mom on a self fulfilling journey x
Go to couples counselling even if you go on your own it will still help you to seperate and a therapist can support you through this process.
You dont' say anything about your husbands parents and grandparents think or feel about you seperating, do they know and what do they think of his behaviour and feelings about you and his children? They may be far less judgemental than you think.
Obviously the children will miss their dad and may act out, however I dont' think that growing up in a toxic environment will help them at all, if their dad feels that they and you will only be a disapointment they will pick up on it, even if it's never openly said. Nobodies dropping off the planet unless they choose too, make sure that all the grandparents know that you want them in your childrens lives. If the grandparents share a similar outlook to your husband then you'll all be better off seeing less of them, you never know, your children might like the freedom, living without family members in the same house doesn't mean isolation, it means things will be different, and life can be filled with new people, friends etc.
Has your husband said what he wants to do or did he just dump all this on you and expect you to deal with it?
I'd also get some legal advise too and find out exactly what your position is and then you can start planing a new life for yourself and your children.