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14 years daughter not wanting anyone to see her

Dad of autistic girl

Does anyone else have experience of their child hiding in her room and not wanting anyone to see her? She's going through puberty/body changes and I think that's got a lot to do with it. She's as yet undiagnosed (been waiting nearly 2 years for an assessment). She's not attending school. Just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience? Thanks :-)

  • Yes ..my son 24 however he did what you're saying here when he was a child ..I would strongly recommend that you get some professional help..I know it seems extreme to say that but I say it as at that age when a child they're better able to adjust and with autism being flexible is one of the things they find difficult which they'll find harder as they get older...your child needs to be able to be with others and.have friends it's so important as when young those are the kinds of deep bonds they form with school friends etc and they need those faithful kinds of friends.. especially now as university isn't available to everyone unless they have the money..ie when older if your child can't attend uni or is finding it hard to get a job etc then they'll have no way of making friends..I'm just speaking from experience as I didn't know my son was Autistic until 18 so when he was doing the things you're talk about here nothing was done as I didn't know there was a problem...and now he's a very lonely and isolated young man. Good luck and please try to get your child to a professional no matter how hard it is for them as if you don't it'll just be all the harder later on.ps yes we did CHAMS and it was useless but try anyway or look to go private.

  • I’m a mum of a 14 year old who is similar. She has not been in school since Christmas. We are waiting for an assessment on the umbrella pathway, debating whether to go private. High school is too much. School have applied for an EHCP. Her friends she had she doesn’t see anymore, she won’t initiate any contact. She’s very isolated. She doesn’t want to be home schooled. She hides in her bedroom if anyone is in the house. We seem to be a bit in the wilderness. She gets overwhelmed when we try to talk to her CAMHS rejection twice despite doctor saying she needs an assessment. Third attempt she has been referred to WEST but I don’t know what support that is and so far no appointment. The system seems so broken. My anxious little girl needs help 

  • in reply to Rosie Mod

    Hi, my daughter is 13 and is like this, spends most of the time in her room. Most of the time she is ok around the house with us (mum and dad and 16 year old sister), but doesn't want to see anyone else, will stay in her room if anyone visits. She likes to know in advance if we're having visitors so she can prepare. She also doesn't go out anywhere, and we now home educate as she wasn't attending school due to her anxieties over it.

  • Dear Greg :-),

    We are sorry that your daughter has been waiting nearly two years for an assessment.

    You may find our advice and guidance section on our website of particular interest, where you will find a wide range of information about autism, including what autism is, socialising and relationships, communication and education.  

    You may want to look at our resources for autistic teenagers. The Know Yourself series offers free resources (videos, PDFs, worksheets) to support autistic teenagers in understanding what being autistic means to them https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/resources-for-autistic-teenagers

    Kind Regards,

    Rosie Mod