Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I'm hoping you may be able to help advise us. Our 6 year old son has always been wary of dogs but over the past few months his fear has got to the point where we are struggling to do anything for fear of bumping into a dog which is frequently. He gets really distressed and freezes and there is nothing we can do to calm him. Does anyone have any advice on what we can do to help him as currently it has meant that we are struggling to go out. Thanks so much
Your son has likely has frozen and looked straight in the eyes of dogs, and seen the dog's predatory nature, and anger. You need to give your son knowledge about body language of dogs, to not look them in the eyes, and to reherse with him about what to do in those situations when a dog is nearby, maybe with a dog stuffed toy or something. Also, give him absolute certainty that he will be protected from dogs, and that you will beat the dog up if it causes him any trouble. Maybe later on, you can show how to interact and greet friendly dogs, by showing him to allow a dog to sniff his hand as a greeting, and that he can pet the dog. But don't rush into this step. Dogs are like humans, they are very varied in terms of personalities. Some are nice, others are not so much.
Hullabaloo said:looked straight in the eyes of dogs, and seen the dog's predatory nature, and anger.
Dogs, generally, do not display predatory nature nor anger in their eyes. Their predatory nature is displayed only when they notice prey, and no dog views a human as prey...a threat perhaps....but not prey.
Dogs are likely to feel threatened if you stare at their eyes, but their eyes won't display anger....they will just meet the rudeness and challenge (as they see it) and convey "stop staring at me."
Language about dog behaviour needs to be kept "tight" these days. Inaccurate and inflammatory language (and a lack of understanding) continues to cause a lot of good dogs a lot of anguish....and that is not fair.
I speak a few dialects of "dog" - so I will advocate for them where I see the need.
Dogs comes from the lineage of wolves, and wolves are hunters and predators. It doesn't mean anything negative. That's just their ancestry. If you take that as inaccurate or inflammatory language, that's on you, my friend. Children may look like prey to animals, which is why they must be watched closely by adults.
Not all dog breeds have the same temperament, and not all dogs have the same kind of upbringing either. Some dogs come from puppy mills which are notorious places for abuse and animal cruelty. Some dogs are very friendly, while others are not, and the same goes for humans. Some humans are friendly, but you don't give your house keys and banking information to every human you meet, because you can't trust all of them.
If you don't teach children things like not to stare into the eyes of animals, children can get hurt by it. I've got attacked by cats when I was growing up, because I looked at them in the eyes, yet I don't think they are bad or blame them for the attack, but not everyone would be so forgiving, and they may want the animal to be put down.
I'm not going to lump all dogs together and demonize them all collectively. Some dogs are friendly and others are not, and the ones who attack people are the ones causing the issues. But even if the dog is friendly around children, both of them should be supervised at all times. That's just being reasonable. If warnings go unheeded, injuries can occur. But enough about my "inflammatory language" that's upsetting to your ears. Maybe take your dog on a walk and enjoy your day.
The issue that has arisen here on this thread and which both of you have got passion about, is how much do you love and understand animals?
Human relationships with animals I have found are often rather simplistic, the "Furry Robot" mentality I call it, which can be found even in cat's protection type organisations.
To be fair human beings are remarkably able to dehumanise each other to the extent of dropping bombs on each others houses in extreme cases, (or seeing each other as thin characatures on this forum!) so expecting them to understand that animals can communicate and understand concepts like guilt, and experience love and loyalty, and be really saddened by casual emotional neglact is a bit of a reach.
Equally "once bitten twice shy" is basic survival 101, (and the root of many "predjudices") so victims of dog bites are always going to see dogs as a hazard. Unless you develop some animal whispering skills, and take an interest then dogs become a more manageable hazard and in some cases, interesting.
Fear of dogs is very real, fear of alsations (german sheperds) is absoluteley sensible, I lived through three of them as "family pets going for a walk in suburbia" and you are just waiiting for the thing to kick off...
It could have been my parents influence come to think of it, as I was alwasy a bit the same...
OO, Ouch, painful self insight in a public forum. I'm glad I'm autistic, otherwise it'd be "embarrassing".. ;c)
Yeah, you know, with the nature of the internet, it's easy to misunderstand something. But I appreciate that you have taken the time to read and reply. No hard feelings. I hope you all the best as well.
What a hullabaloo ! I don't think this exchange with you has, nor is, transitioning anywhere useful, so I'll just let sleeping dogs lie and leave you assert and exude, as you see fit. I am sorry if I have caused you irritation with a perceived lack of understanding or knowledge regarding this subject matter.
All the best Hullabaloo - over and out.
No, I'm not comparing dogs to wolves. Dogs come from the lineage of wolves. Dogs are domesticated wolves. They are canines. They were bred generation after generation for their certain traits. Dogs and wolves can even still mate with each other because their genetic lines are still close enough to be able to do so, like there's a wolfdog hybrid. Dogs depending on their breed, can have more of the predatory instincts of their wolf predecessors. There are animals that can give the predatory stare, like wolves, bears, eagles, and humans, because their eyes are positioned forward-facing to look directly at their targets, whereas prey usually have eyes on the sides of their heads, to have a peripheral vision of their surroundings. Dogs target things and chase them all the time. Where do you think that instinct comes from?
If you love and support dogs, read up on them more often.
Like you, I also wish to keep people safe from harm.......but I also wish to keep dogs safe from harm too.
Comparing a dog to a wolf, is like comparing the moon to a lump of cheese. They look a bit like the same thing, if you ignore the perspectives and context involved.
Presuming that you can "see" anger and "a predatory nature" in the eyes of dogs, is a bit like presuming you can know my motivations via the power of the interweb thingy.
Rest assured, I have enjoyed my day, man......and I wish you a good night.
Yikes. Just enjoy your day man. Understandably not all dogs are bad. Dogs came from wolves, and that's why I pointed out that they are predatory. "Inaccurate" isn't the right word. Some dog breeds have more of that wolf instinct than other dogs do. Dogs are amazing creatures, but they should still be monitored when around people and children. You've replyed under my post pointing out the inaccuracies AND inflammatory language, so if that was a reply to my inaccuracies, and with that AND, isn't that also a reply about my inflammatory language as well? So I replied explaining why I used the information and language that I did. I have nothing against dogs, but there are by-laws in place, signage, and businesses who have rules about dogs and pets who have access on their premises, for the reason of keeping people safe from harm.