Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I'm hoping you may be able to help advise us. Our 6 year old son has always been wary of dogs but over the past few months his fear has got to the point where we are struggling to do anything for fear of bumping into a dog which is frequently. He gets really distressed and freezes and there is nothing we can do to calm him. Does anyone have any advice on what we can do to help him as currently it has meant that we are struggling to go out. Thanks so much
Your son has likely has frozen and looked straight in the eyes of dogs, and seen the dog's predatory nature, and anger. You need to give your son knowledge about body language of dogs, to not look them in the eyes, and to reherse with him about what to do in those situations when a dog is nearby, maybe with a dog stuffed toy or something. Also, give him absolute certainty that he will be protected from dogs, and that you will beat the dog up if it causes him any trouble. Maybe later on, you can show how to interact and greet friendly dogs, by showing him to allow a dog to sniff his hand as a greeting, and that he can pet the dog. But don't rush into this step. Dogs are like humans, they are very varied in terms of personalities. Some are nice, others are not so much.
Hullabaloo said:looked straight in the eyes of dogs, and seen the dog's predatory nature, and anger.
Dogs, generally, do not display predatory nature nor anger in their eyes. Their predatory nature is displayed only when they notice prey, and no dog views a human as prey...a threat perhaps....but not prey.
Dogs are likely to feel threatened if you stare at their eyes, but their eyes won't display anger....they will just meet the rudeness and challenge (as they see it) and convey "stop staring at me."
Language about dog behaviour needs to be kept "tight" these days. Inaccurate and inflammatory language (and a lack of understanding) continues to cause a lot of good dogs a lot of anguish....and that is not fair.
I speak a few dialects of "dog" - so I will advocate for them where I see the need.
Dogs comes from the lineage of wolves, and wolves are hunters and predators. It doesn't mean anything negative. That's just their ancestry. If you take that as inaccurate or inflammatory language, that's on you, my friend. Children may look like prey to animals, which is why they must be watched closely by adults.
Not all dog breeds have the same temperament, and not all dogs have the same kind of upbringing either. Some dogs come from puppy mills which are notorious places for abuse and animal cruelty. Some dogs are very friendly, while others are not, and the same goes for humans. Some humans are friendly, but you don't give your house keys and banking information to every human you meet, because you can't trust all of them.
If you don't teach children things like not to stare into the eyes of animals, children can get hurt by it. I've got attacked by cats when I was growing up, because I looked at them in the eyes, yet I don't think they are bad or blame them for the attack, but not everyone would be so forgiving, and they may want the animal to be put down.
I'm not going to lump all dogs together and demonize them all collectively. Some dogs are friendly and others are not, and the ones who attack people are the ones causing the issues. But even if the dog is friendly around children, both of them should be supervised at all times. That's just being reasonable. If warnings go unheeded, injuries can occur. But enough about my "inflammatory language" that's upsetting to your ears. Maybe take your dog on a walk and enjoy your day.
The issue that has arisen here on this thread and which both of you have got passion about, is how much do you love and understand animals?
Human relationships with animals I have found are often rather simplistic, the "Furry Robot" mentality I call it, which can be found even in cat's protection type organisations.
To be fair human beings are remarkably able to dehumanise each other to the extent of dropping bombs on each others houses in extreme cases, (or seeing each other as thin characatures on this forum!) so expecting them to understand that animals can communicate and understand concepts like guilt, and experience love and loyalty, and be really saddened by casual emotional neglact is a bit of a reach.
Equally "once bitten twice shy" is basic survival 101, (and the root of many "predjudices") so victims of dog bites are always going to see dogs as a hazard. Unless you develop some animal whispering skills, and take an interest then dogs become a more manageable hazard and in some cases, interesting.
Fear of dogs is very real, fear of alsations (german sheperds) is absoluteley sensible, I lived through three of them as "family pets going for a walk in suburbia" and you are just waiiting for the thing to kick off...
It could have been my parents influence come to think of it, as I was alwasy a bit the same...
OO, Ouch, painful self insight in a public forum. I'm glad I'm autistic, otherwise it'd be "embarrassing".. ;c)
Yeah, you know, with the nature of the internet, it's easy to misunderstand something. But I appreciate that you have taken the time to read and reply. No hard feelings. I hope you all the best as well.