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Newly diagnosed 8yo. When should we tell him? Would it help him if I was also assessed?

John74773
4 months ago

Hello, our son who has just turned 8 was recently diagnosed with ASD. I have a couple of questions, would love opinions on any of them if you're happy to share.

  1. What age should we be thinking about telling him? I don't think he'd understand what it means at the moment - and we also wouldn't want him broadcasting it at school.
  2. My wife and I have discussed the possibility that I could also be autistic. Is there any benefit to my son in me getting assessed? 
  3. We gave up on the CAMHS route and he was diagnosed by a paediatric consultant. We were given minimal signposting and no follow up. Are there any resources we should be investigating to help us as parents of a newly diagnosed child?

As above I'd be very grateful for thoughts on any of these questions - many thanks in advance.

Parents
  • 4 months ago

    As the autistic father of an autistic daughter (adult), I was diagnosed the day before my daughter, I can say that both of us being acknowledged autists has helped in our relationship. We can recognise the autistic traits in each other and have names and reasons for them.

    As to the age question, you do not need to use the word 'autism' in order to explain to your child that he may have difficulties understanding social niceties, may need to ask his teacher for more clarification about how to complete tasks etc. etc. When you do introduce the term autism to him make use of autistic role-models, like Sir Anthony Hopkins and Elon Musk, plus the many great people of the past who showed autistic traits - Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, Mozart, Picasso, Michelangelo and so on. This will help create a positive image of autism.

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  • 4 months ago

    As the autistic father of an autistic daughter (adult), I was diagnosed the day before my daughter, I can say that both of us being acknowledged autists has helped in our relationship. We can recognise the autistic traits in each other and have names and reasons for them.

    As to the age question, you do not need to use the word 'autism' in order to explain to your child that he may have difficulties understanding social niceties, may need to ask his teacher for more clarification about how to complete tasks etc. etc. When you do introduce the term autism to him make use of autistic role-models, like Sir Anthony Hopkins and Elon Musk, plus the many great people of the past who showed autistic traits - Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, Mozart, Picasso, Michelangelo and so on. This will help create a positive image of autism.

Children