Published on 12, July, 2020
My 19yo is in their 2nd year at Cambridge, or I should say was at Cambridge as they were forced to leave a couple of weeks ago. They are so upset. They were told they should have asked for more help but their ASD makes reaching out to strangers for help almost impossible. My child is quite depressed now they are back at home and it’s really difficult trying to support them. Part of me wants to get legal advice as I don’t think the Uni have dealt with this situation well but part of me wants to just help my child to move on and try to start again elsewhere. Does anyone know where I could get advice on what the University’s obligations are towards their ASD students?
I think the most important question is what environment would best enable your child to maximise their potential and find happiness. This requires total honesty about what your child is capable of at the moment, even with the level of reasonable adjustments that you think could be secured. Not an easy task, as I did not know myself well enough at that age to be able to come up with the correct answer.
I studied at the University of Oxford and had to take a year out due to illness before completing my third year. In hindsight, it was simply the wrong place for me at that time in my life. There were undoubtedly some positives and it looks great on one's CV, but the level of expectation, the intensity of the 8-week terms, the suffocating atmosphere of the city, and being surrounded by almost universally hyperconfident people was problematic. My memories of that time are largely negative. I was much happier studying for a masters degree at the University of Sheffield, which may partly have been due to being that bit older, but also it was a much nicer city, the nature of the course suited me better, and I had far more in common with the other students. Oxbridge is not automatically better, it is just one of many options, and if it is not the right choice for one's individual circumstances and personality then it may cause more harm than good.
Is the battle with the university one that is worth winning? If it is, then good luck.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I absolutely agree - I am concerned that we could challenge the decision and possibly win due to procedural oversights by the Uni, but then my child might feel an even greater pressure to be “successful “ which would make it even more difficult for them to admit to anyone if they were struggling. At the moment, they say they still want the Cambridge place but that is all they have known of university. They might find that they have a more balanced, happier life elsewhere if they gave that a chance.