Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello! My son is almost 13 and we are really struggling with the way he speaks to us at the moment and his selfish attitude to all things. Is this common with autism or is it a neurotypical behaviour for his age. it’s really hard to deal with and don’t know how to help the situation. I don’t have anyone I can speak to as I don’t know anyone else in the same situation. Thanks
I can confirm that he is diagnosed and has been for many years. These behaviours I have mentioned have always been there but seem to be heightened. I know people don’t like these terms but I would describe him as “high functioning” or “mild autism” as he manages most daily tasks that are expected of a neurotypical person.
I’m wondering if he has a confirmed diagnosis of autism or is it because he is being a normal difficult teenager? These days, if it is his just being a difficult teenager, parents have far less sources of help that they could turn to for a behavioural issue, except if there are other mental health issues involved - I’m inclined to wonder if increased discipline is needed, after speaking to your GP, teachers and/or a police officer - I’m getting the sense that it is a normal teenage discipline issue, in which case speaking to the police could be very useful - do you know of anyone who is serving or ex-milltary? Getting him into the army might be the best way to straighten him out and get him the discipline he needs
I think teenage boys revert to a caveman stereotype, communicating only by grunts, they smell despite washing and they eat almost compulsively. Then they get expensive, not only do they eat, but they grow too, my son went from being the smallest in his class to the tallest in 18 months, I think I only saw him when he was fridge raiding and grunting, the reest of the time he slept and grew. I was having to buy him new clothes every couple of weeks, sleeves that had been down to his knuckes suddenly came above his wrists seemingly overnight. It does get better and they return to normal humanity.
NAS92855 said:Is this common with autism or is it a neurotypical behaviour for his age.
It is a common double whammy of the teenage years and the lack of understanding of others / understanding of socially appropriate behaviour that comes for many with autism.
If he is diagnised as autistic then it may be worthwhile speaking to the SENs contact at school to see if they offer any classes to educate appropriate behaviour for this sort of thing.
Failing that, alternatives may be getting him a counseller or giving him books on the subject, but expect push back on these from him.
I think this is pretty common amongst teenage boys of all neurotypes tbh.