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Help! Feeling ignored.

NAS92421
7 months ago

Hi all, I'm new. 

My daughter was diagnosed with ASD(Asperger's) in January this year, she's in Year 3. 

My daughter is bright and compliant in class, she likes routines and needs extra time to process things and like to go to sleep at dinner and break time so will find a bench outside and hide away for some peace. This does worry me alot in general she's doing amazing  in school, just the niggle bits. 

I asked for an appointment to speak with the sensco to go over the Psychologist plan, they have asked school to put in place, but my requests are always ignored. 

I don't know whether I'm looking too much into this but a few of the parents that have sens child speak with each other and they said that they have received appointments times and date for a joint appointment with Senco and their teacher and again my daughter haven't received anything. 

Apparently I don't need an appointment because my daughter is "very bright and compliant" in class, and not seen as a  "problem" "there words" l'm so frustrated with it all, just because my child is bright and well behaved , they are ignoring the fact that she has autism, she masks, she hide away and sleeps at dinner time. But still we don't get an appointment to discuss the diagnosis or what they will do to support her in this year, the teacher did say that senco was in the middle of doing EHCP, how can the do a EHCP without discussing it with the parents,

Am i being unreasonable to wanting an appointment? Is this discrimination towards my daughter because other autistic children are getting appointments for SENCO, just not mine.  I don't want to be one of those parents that push things or for my daughter to be treated differently but the Psychologist told me to make an appointment. 

I'm not sure where I stand or what I should do? Is being bright and compliant enough? 

Thank you, If you took the time to read this.

Sarah x

  • 7 months ago
    NAS92421 said:
    I'm not sure where I stand or what I should do? Is being bright and compliant enough? 

    Me and my partner literally had a meeting at school about this very same issue. 
    This is my advice which so far is proving successful. We are quite lucky really as my sons school has the highest number of children with SEN needs in our area, this is at 30%. 
    That said because my son is masking he kind of got pushed to one side. I would say keep a diary of what happens when returning from school and anything you find relevant, this can be offered to the school which cannot really be ignored. Also if possible get a therapist who specialises in neurodiverse children, this also helped our argument. Send emails to the school rather than having verbal communication all the time as this will give you evidence of not being taken seriously. I also recorded my son having a typical weeknight meltdown. The more you can document the more leverage you will have. Not that I got this far but if the school do nothing or even acknowledge your concerns there is always your local education authority. 
    I was too nice to start with but now although still very polite am a bit more assertive. 
    We finally got taken seriously at a meeting we had on Monday and have some sort of plan to get my son the reasonable adjustments that he needs. 

    The diary for us has been the best weapon of choice as it’s so easy to forget what happened a few weeks ago let alone months. I have 7 months worth of diary entries.

    Good luck and keep pushing. 

  • 7 months ago in reply to Touay

    Hiya Touay

    It's a New Academy school, I don't have a clue what their legal requirements are as they differ from the Council Mainstream Schools. 

  • 7 months ago in reply to Ross-Mod

    I will check the link you have suggested,

    Thank you.  

  • 7 months ago

    Hi Sarah,

    Sorry to hear you're having difficulty with getting your daughter's school to meet with you to discuss support needs. You might want to have a look at these links regarding getting extra help at school - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/extra-help-at-school - and SEN support - https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/where-to-get-educational-support/

    The fact that your daughter is doing well at school should not prevent you from being able to meet with the SENCO and discuss plans, so you may want to raise this with the school's head teacher if you are being denied support. There is more information on this and a template letter here - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/extra-help-at-school/england


    And if you continue to have problems with communication with the school or feel they aren't providing sufficient support, there are also sections on resolving differences - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/resolving-differences - which includes how to escalate matters if necessary.

    Hope this is of some help,
    Ross - mod

  • 7 months ago

    So, they are going to wait until she has serious issues before helping?  That is ensuring she is going to underachieve.

    What is the legal requirement on the school?