Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello all.
First Post!
Wondering if anyone is in the same boat as us, and/or have some strategies
Our son is approaching 14. Recently been diagnosed ASD (no surprise at our end). He is really bright, does well in school, and in the main manages things quite well but with some common ASD traits (obsessed by F1, likes smaller groups, does not see other peoples opinions well, and generally has a slightly different take on things).
Where we have the most stressful of problems is with his sport. He plays two sports at a reasonably high level but gets unreasonably frustrated with coaches, team mates, and himself.
This can be anything and everything:
- too much coaching
- coaches not listening to his ideas (he has a lot)
- team mates not listening to his instructions
- not respecting weaker team mates
- never just 'letting things go' and moving on to the next play
..... the list goes on. He loves his sport, but often it creates most of his stress.
regards
S
We tried collective sport with our son and then quickly moved him to self-discipline sports. He thrived with karate, Judo and now skateboards. Autistic kids tend to enjoy with Parallel Play.
Most autistics (and others like dyslexic/hyperlexic) are often not completive by nature, so team sports make little sense. Further, because there's a language barrier (we use it incredibly different), they often don't even feel like part of the team, just an appendix.
This chap might help explain a good deal https://autcollab.org/2020/04/30/autism-the-cultural-immune-system-of-human-societies/?fbclid=IwAR37xumHkRga0hADICA80wxaWycn7_Kr9Oc6uZhcs2zJ0QzamXOI4qwU2bQ
Some of us are very competitive.
Competition is something socially ingrained. Sport is very dependant on social-linguistics with, often too many Non-autistic peers. So even if you've been given direct instruction to compete for the sake of survival (capitalism at an individual level), there's always an issue with "translation' and interpretation.
Now, if you're ADHD, you might read these cues just fine and also be able to understand your Autistic friends and family members.
But not only do many Autistics often experience Proprioception issues which can hinder feeling confident enough to be a reliable team-mate in a split second, but that moment between not recognising a language-command can cost a game.
There are other reasons that can create barriers in these situations. But historically, and in the definition of "Aut-" as coined by Grunya Sukhareva, the 'extreme' introvert (such as how one is 'fuelled' in their down time), might find they can be socialised into a bit of competition here in there, but it's not really been found a core part motivation. Meaning, somedays I might be up for it, others not. And this is quite different to NT-experience.