Son increasingly frustrated with sport

Hi, it would be interesting to hear which sports he does play.

Essentially at 14 (nearly) most coaches are still expecting to be 'teaching' rather than getting useful info back. this is sadly something that will not change.

I would suggest moving him into Refereeing/umpiring as a way to keep interest and apply the structures and rules. Depending on the sport possibly move to coaching. I struggled with much the same issues. however as i wasn't a coach and didn't have the playing experience i was ignored. there is sadly no way around that except to get the experience. I later went on to study Sports science and coaching at Uni.

Sports - RUGBY and Cricket.

You are correct. The coaches are happy to coach but not engage in strategy. Its for sure his ASD where he sees things on the field that others don't. This is not really a criticism of the coaching, just not what they are trained/expecting/have time to accommodate.

Cricket i cannot comment on however Rugby i can, I studied level 2 coaching for both League and Union aswell as qualifying as a referee in both (20 years ago admittedly)

At U14 he isn't even yet playing full laws so perhaps should concentrate on learning not just the game but also his role(s) in the game, at this age most club coaches are happy to get kids turn up on time and can catch the ball without being scared of it.

Club coaches are generally parents who fell into it. Very few ever go above the level 1 (basic) qualification and hardly any ever wish to move on up to coach as a living. As such they are pretty blinkered. Perhaps the problem is the coach and you need to look for a new team with a new coach who would be prepared (able) to talk about strategy.

Now the hard bit is to get your son to look at himself and his own problems here. I am speaking from experience on this. Just because you see something just because you think something doesn't mean i can be done. He may have a great idea, he may see things but if his vision is superior to the skills of his team mates it wont happen.

I once coached a women's University team as you can imagine we had the most random selection from 18yo girls who'd never played before but thought it looked fun to full Internationals.

I remember having a stand up row with a forward (Eng student/forerunner to women's premiership player) she had been held up in a tackle rather than taking the hit and either going to ground or setting a maul decided to throw and offload. The person the ball went to i) didn't expect it ii) wasn't skilful enough to catch it due to the surprise. 

The point was at that moment the team mate in that situation wasn't good enough so the offload was a poor choice. However at Top level with skilled fit and well versed players it was the perfect choice.

Until Your son can tell the difference between what he can see can be done and what the coach sees as the other players ability to do then he will always be seen as getting ideas above his station.

I'd seriously push him to do a Refereeing course though. as club coaches we all went through it and what we learnt was unreal as its not just the laws but how the laws are viewed. It revolutionised our coaching and plans.

Cricket i cannot comment on however Rugby i can, I studied level 2 coaching for both League and Union aswell as qualifying as a referee in both (20 years ago admittedly)

At U14 he isn't even yet playing full laws so perhaps should concentrate on learning not just the game but also his role(s) in the game, at this age most club coaches are happy to get kids turn up on time and can catch the ball without being scared of it.

Club coaches are generally parents who fell into it. Very few ever go above the level 1 (basic) qualification and hardly any ever wish to move on up to coach as a living. As such they are pretty blinkered. Perhaps the problem is the coach and you need to look for a new team with a new coach who would be prepared (able) to talk about strategy.

Now the hard bit is to get your son to look at himself and his own problems here. I am speaking from experience on this. Just because you see something just because you think something doesn't mean i can be done. He may have a great idea, he may see things but if his vision is superior to the skills of his team mates it wont happen.

I once coached a women's University team as you can imagine we had the most random selection from 18yo girls who'd never played before but thought it looked fun to full Internationals.

I remember having a stand up row with a forward (Eng student/forerunner to women's premiership player) she had been held up in a tackle rather than taking the hit and either going to ground or setting a maul decided to throw and offload. The person the ball went to i) didn't expect it ii) wasn't skilful enough to catch it due to the surprise. 

The point was at that moment the team mate in that situation wasn't good enough so the offload was a poor choice. However at Top level with skilled fit and well versed players it was the perfect choice.

Until Your son can tell the difference between what he can see can be done and what the coach sees as the other players ability to do then he will always be seen as getting ideas above his station.

I'd seriously push him to do a Refereeing course though. as club coaches we all went through it and what we learnt was unreal as its not just the laws but how the laws are viewed. It revolutionised our coaching and plans.