Published on 12, July, 2020
We have had a massive struggle over the years with our Daughter and being violent to us up to the point the police were called after she struck her mum in the face. Since then (5 years ago) her verbal abuse has gone off the charts. She is no longer violent but has changed her abuse to verbal. She throws whatever is your most personal thing at you, my wife's best friend of 30 years died 3 months ago and this morning our daughter said her friend would be happier in heaven because she wouldn't have to listen to my wifes rubbish anymore. There are no boundaries to what she says and definitely no respect to either of us or her elder sister. We can't get through to her at all and she doesn't think she needs any help as it's all our faults. At our whitts end and looking for guidance and advice. Thanks Trev
This sounds like meltdown. This is so difficult for Autistics to explain to Allistics ( non-autistics). It feels like being cornered and trapped. Everything gets out of control and we cannot stop doing hurtful things. Usually this is due to a build up of stress over a period. There may not be a trigger as such just something which push us over the edge. You talk about "respect" which most autistic people find a confusing concept. We struggle with the concept of status. We see others as all being our equals. Trying to force us to be act as if we are not autistic just stresses us out. I learned to be able to deal with the non-autistic world but to do so is incredibly stressful. I can only do it for short periods of time before I need to take time out. Choose your battles. Try not to force your daughter to do something unless it is life threatening. Give her control and time to herself to unwind. I know this is all against the rules we are expected to follow by the Allistic society. It us really difficult.