Help with late teen

This is tough.

There is new medical evidence as of 2020 Autistics and ADHD (who share similar fundamental values), have lower GABA, which is the gut-brain axis affecting digestion and Anxiety. The solution is NEVER anti-depressants which will make it worse as they target something completely different in the brain, actually lowering GABA even further. 

An analogy for GABA is this: they're like a little resistance squad, which shut down hyper-brain waves accelerating out of control. In an anthropological setting, coupled with a hyper-sensory ability (which would've most likely been well-calibrated) and also the ability to make connexions in unique ways autistics can, circumnavigating social nuance/expectations, Lower GABA would help the small percent of the tribe be able to problem-solve impending danger, or stay alert when the collective were bored with or didn't know how to face a problem. This Autistic type of "human design" is well suited for finding solutions no one else might see/want to see, and appear 'driven' to not sleep until a solution is found. 

This obviously works against us when society is a complete mismatch: Lights are too brilliant and lack IR, so we're loosing the ability to see with clarity and its messing with ecology. Sound levels and frequencies are causing deafness, VOCs are silently causing cancer. There are so many elements Autistics can sense and are overwhelmed by interfering with how we might thrive. 

Then we throw human stuff in the mix: biological defaults. Most young women cannot get past this interference, as we start to biologically mature (not necessarily psychologically), we can't seem to see past these default modes. For young Autistics, because our senses are intensely impacted more than our peers, and because we often experience not connecting with others, when we do find someone we feel a chemistry with, it's extremely intense. I would prepare for the break up and start finding a GP who will prescribe a small dose of anti-anxiety medication, which will help ease the blow and allow her to think with clarity finally. Anti-depressants will never help with clarity of thought for autistics, and might actually sever our ability to better reflect. 

The other big difference between Autistic and not has to do with how we mature, how we become into ourselves. While we all can be thrown into survival mechanisms, Autistics do not create defence mechanisms, which is part of non-autistic social 'growth'. This is important because defence mechanisms are how humans typically mature, by suppressing and repressing "desires" or instincts and replacing those with acceptable behaviour. It's apparently something which is learned from all the social nuance we don't pick up. Autistics, rather, need wisdom, direct lessons, we need the core fundamentals ethics are built on, the social understandings morals are built on (and these might shift depending on economic and culture), and learned 'disciplines' which help us grow into reasonable, grounded adults. But we need one lesson at a time. 

Have you read any of Caitlin Moran's books? On being a woman and raising women, they're amazing. 

NAS88959 said:

She does work part time about 14 hours a week to get money for Ubers to see him or pay for him to see her

This is unacceptable to me. You may not be able to turn off the chemistry, but she needs exposure to men who go out of their way to care for and do their due diligence for their partner (perhaps movie night?). No one spelled out to me when I was young why money matters. Why investment matters and how we can tell a great deal about someone by where they invest their resources. This to me is the equivalent of being drained by a vampire. She needs to dream bigger, essentially. Once we have a vision, it is difficult to shake unless clarity and wisdom interfere, and a vision we better resonate with replaces it. 

This is tough.

There is new medical evidence as of 2020 Autistics and ADHD (who share similar fundamental values), have lower GABA, which is the gut-brain axis affecting digestion and Anxiety. The solution is NEVER anti-depressants which will make it worse as they target something completely different in the brain, actually lowering GABA even further. 

An analogy for GABA is this: they're like a little resistance squad, which shut down hyper-brain waves accelerating out of control. In an anthropological setting, coupled with a hyper-sensory ability (which would've most likely been well-calibrated) and also the ability to make connexions in unique ways autistics can, circumnavigating social nuance/expectations, Lower GABA would help the small percent of the tribe be able to problem-solve impending danger, or stay alert when the collective were bored with or didn't know how to face a problem. This Autistic type of "human design" is well suited for finding solutions no one else might see/want to see, and appear 'driven' to not sleep until a solution is found. 

This obviously works against us when society is a complete mismatch: Lights are too brilliant and lack IR, so we're loosing the ability to see with clarity and its messing with ecology. Sound levels and frequencies are causing deafness, VOCs are silently causing cancer. There are so many elements Autistics can sense and are overwhelmed by interfering with how we might thrive. 

Then we throw human stuff in the mix: biological defaults. Most young women cannot get past this interference, as we start to biologically mature (not necessarily psychologically), we can't seem to see past these default modes. For young Autistics, because our senses are intensely impacted more than our peers, and because we often experience not connecting with others, when we do find someone we feel a chemistry with, it's extremely intense. I would prepare for the break up and start finding a GP who will prescribe a small dose of anti-anxiety medication, which will help ease the blow and allow her to think with clarity finally. Anti-depressants will never help with clarity of thought for autistics, and might actually sever our ability to better reflect. 

The other big difference between Autistic and not has to do with how we mature, how we become into ourselves. While we all can be thrown into survival mechanisms, Autistics do not create defence mechanisms, which is part of non-autistic social 'growth'. This is important because defence mechanisms are how humans typically mature, by suppressing and repressing "desires" or instincts and replacing those with acceptable behaviour. It's apparently something which is learned from all the social nuance we don't pick up. Autistics, rather, need wisdom, direct lessons, we need the core fundamentals ethics are built on, the social understandings morals are built on (and these might shift depending on economic and culture), and learned 'disciplines' which help us grow into reasonable, grounded adults. But we need one lesson at a time. 

Have you read any of Caitlin Moran's books? On being a woman and raising women, they're amazing. 

NAS88959 said:

She does work part time about 14 hours a week to get money for Ubers to see him or pay for him to see her

This is unacceptable to me. You may not be able to turn off the chemistry, but she needs exposure to men who go out of their way to care for and do their due diligence for their partner (perhaps movie night?). No one spelled out to me when I was young why money matters. Why investment matters and how we can tell a great deal about someone by where they invest their resources. This to me is the equivalent of being drained by a vampire. She needs to dream bigger, essentially. Once we have a vision, it is difficult to shake unless clarity and wisdom interfere, and a vision we better resonate with replaces it. 

I will suggest a Nootropics blend, which is like eating a foraging feast of healthy mushrooms every day. I have a compound with Reishi and Lions Mane and several others. These can boost morale, help with focus, they're also incredibly helpful for the immune system and digestion. 

If she needs help getting out of bed, fix the biology, then give her one task (watering the plants, sorting the garden, a walk - something to connect with nature and do regardless of how we 'feel' - feed the soul). 

Hopefully these are a start!