Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I’m new here so hope it’s ok to post.
My daughter is nearly four. I’ve had ongoing issues with a lot of different things concerning her behaviour. I’ve had lots of help from the family centre and health visitor since she was little and she scored really high on the behaviour part of her check ups when she was a toddler. She only started to talk when she was 2.5 and her speech is still delayed now and not fluent. She only ever wants to eat plain pasta (no sauce, no texture veg etc). and the same bland foods nearly all the time. Sandwiches with cheese spread, yoghurts, cheese strings. She eats but it’s only the foods she wants to eat. She is also very impulsive and goes through phases of eating specific foods. Today she has ate 6 apples. She repeats what she wants till she gets it. For example apple apple apple. When I say no she has a full blown meltdown. She has started hitting out at her sister who is 7. Pulling her hair, throwing things and hitting me. Hates her hair being brushed or washed - it’s matted to the root and she becomes so distressed when I brush it even with using the magic detangle spray and her princess brush. She has limited awareness of danger. She run out in front of a car this week and luckily a school mum caught her for me. I feel completely overwhelmed and lost. Im not sure if this is normal toddler behaviour or something more. I saw my GP today and expressed how I’m feeling and concerns I’ve been having. I just want to help her and not distress her. The GP referred her for a assessment with child’s mental health and a autism paediatrician. Would he have referred her if he didn’t think there was a underlying issue such as autism? Or do GPS do this automatically. She also had a eye test that confirmed her eye sight is fine but she keeps squinting her eyes shut and one trails off which he suggested could play a part in the development. I’m awaiting a hospital appointment to confirm why her eyes are doing this but now wondering is this is a symptom with a disability that she could possibly have. Has anyone else’s child had similar? Sorry this is a huge message. Just looking to reach out to anyone who’s been through something similar.
Also the nursery have started a here and next board so she’s aware of change and what’s coming next as this I’ve noticed is a trigger to lots of her tantrums and emotions. Also I have to say nursery say she’s perfect there but the moment she leaves the school gate she has a complete meltdown and starts playing up.
Just wanted to say hi as I am in a similar boat, my daughter has just turned 4 and is on a waiting list for an assessment. Sometimes I find giving my daughter more control over things helps, I don't give her loads of options but 2, don't get me wrong sometimes she just says no to both but for example do you want bunches or a pony tail, also I turn loads of stuff into a game, let's play hair dressers ect sometimes we play babies just so she sits still so I can get her dressed.
A sand timer works really well for her brushing teeth, she's very visual so she likes to do it until the timer finished.
Really over the top praise for anything good.
In terms of eating I let her cook loads with me, it's frustrating because then she might only try a little bit or nothing ( she was still throwing new food on the floor up until a year ago) I stick her favourite program on at dinner time and pause it every time she stops eating, it's a process and I didn't want her to be a screen zombie but if it means I can eat a dinner without constantly going on at her happy days.
I really struggle with the is she autsitic or is she just being a 3/4 year old thing , or is she autistic or am I just sucking at parenting and boundaries.
I hope some of this helps even to know you sound like your doing a good job and your not alone