Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I’m new here so hope it’s ok to post.
My daughter is nearly four. I’ve had ongoing issues with a lot of different things concerning her behaviour. I’ve had lots of help from the family centre and health visitor since she was little and she scored really high on the behaviour part of her check ups when she was a toddler. She only started to talk when she was 2.5 and her speech is still delayed now and not fluent. She only ever wants to eat plain pasta (no sauce, no texture veg etc). and the same bland foods nearly all the time. Sandwiches with cheese spread, yoghurts, cheese strings. She eats but it’s only the foods she wants to eat. She is also very impulsive and goes through phases of eating specific foods. Today she has ate 6 apples. She repeats what she wants till she gets it. For example apple apple apple. When I say no she has a full blown meltdown. She has started hitting out at her sister who is 7. Pulling her hair, throwing things and hitting me. Hates her hair being brushed or washed - it’s matted to the root and she becomes so distressed when I brush it even with using the magic detangle spray and her princess brush. She has limited awareness of danger. She run out in front of a car this week and luckily a school mum caught her for me. I feel completely overwhelmed and lost. Im not sure if this is normal toddler behaviour or something more. I saw my GP today and expressed how I’m feeling and concerns I’ve been having. I just want to help her and not distress her. The GP referred her for a assessment with child’s mental health and a autism paediatrician. Would he have referred her if he didn’t think there was a underlying issue such as autism? Or do GPS do this automatically. She also had a eye test that confirmed her eye sight is fine but she keeps squinting her eyes shut and one trails off which he suggested could play a part in the development. I’m awaiting a hospital appointment to confirm why her eyes are doing this but now wondering is this is a symptom with a disability that she could possibly have. Has anyone else’s child had similar? Sorry this is a huge message. Just looking to reach out to anyone who’s been through something similar.
Also the nursery have started a here and next board so she’s aware of change and what’s coming next as this I’ve noticed is a trigger to lots of her tantrums and emotions. Also I have to say nursery say she’s perfect there but the moment she leaves the school gate she has a complete meltdown and starts playing up.
Hiya
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate.
You could try some measures to see if they help at home. One idea might be getting a white board for your daughter's room and one for the house.
The one in her room might include pictures/basic drawing of what she does before she comes downstairs. This will establish a routine and hopefully help her to relax. It might be challenging to implement to start with but it could really help her. The whiteboard downstairs could include a plan for the week. E.g. breakfast then nursery then a walk.
Most children prefer a strong routine even without autism :) the hard part is sticking with it to get it going!
Often with children they try very hard to emulate social behaviours around them which is why she might be doing well at nursery but melting down when she gets home. I know my child is always exhausted and grumpy after an apparently perfect day at nursery!
I really hope this helps you. Don't beat yourself up and give yourself a daily time out. You can't help if you burn out! Aeroplane advice - put your own breathing apparatus on first. You're no good to anyone passed out (lol)
I hope this helps and stay strong you are doing great!