Published on 12, July, 2020
I just need to offload and vent right now. My daughter had a meltdown at work. When she started she changed her routine and we had to change ours to work around her shifts. That meant us having to leave work early to take her. She arrived at work ready and happy and then after half hour, someone told her that she isn't working today but is tomorrow. That was it for her, meltdown mode. She tried keeping it in and bottling it up and was on the edge of crying when messaging me to pick her up and saying she can't do this. She powered through and did her job for 5 minutes until she just let it out. It got too much.
Luckily her friend was working and has known her for many years so she helped calm her down and told others what to do to help. I was called by the staff. Luckily the staff are lovely and the person who told her she wasn't meant to be in apologised and felt really guilty. Her hours and days have now changed. No one told her until today aswell so she's very upset and annoyed with them.
I haven't told them she's autistic. Her friend knows but she won't say anything unless it's a life threatening emergency or unless she makes sure it's ok with us first, which we appreciate. Would it be a good idea to let them know she's on the spectrum. She works in a pub and her main job is to collect glasses. She does a little bit of other things but this is the main so isn't really interacting with anyone. Should I tell them? Would it help or just complicate things? What can I do to make her job easier for her because this is her first job?
Thanks for letting me vent. I really needed it. Plans have changed for tomorrow which effects everyone.
I'm sorry your daughter had a meltdown because of a sudden change of plan. I understand wholeheartedly how it feels and how easily it can push you into a meltdown.
It's fab she has such a good friend who knows her well and is there for her. I think that's really sweet and your daughter must find comfort in her friend. I think maybe you should talk to your daughter and see what she thinks about you saying to them about her being on the spectrum, having her input and thoughts might help you to choose what to do. If it was me I think it's better they know because if things change she might react badly and it's better they know why otherwise they might call say the police and I defos don't think that would be good for anyone.
It's good you vented this out it's important you don't bottle things up as well.
UPDATE: In all honesty, I think she's going to quit. She has had an argument with her best friend and now they aren't friends. Everyone was upset about yesterday. Her 'friend' said that she upset the bar staff by not going to them and just calling me instead. This upset them which I understand. I then phoned them later trying to get to the bottom of her shifts because she doesn't know what's happening which also sent her over the edge. She isn't getting paid weekly like everyone else because her boss hasn't taken her card details. I had many questions for them.
I think I also messed things up even more by calling them. I was upset because the communication there is poor, not letting her know she wasn't in, she's not added on to the group chat to see the rota. Apparently I upset them even more and made things worse because I had a go at them. Honestly, I was a bit upset but I wouldn't say I had a go at the person on the phone. People just don't understand our situation.
Yesterday messed things up. Since she started working, she's had to change her routine, we've had to change ours, her dad can't see her as much, we've had to leave work early so we can take her to work. Dinners are just completely messed up. There's no set time which we are currently working on. The days she showers have changed. We've changed most of our life so we can work around the hours she works. I just want people to understand the knock on effect it has. Its not just the case of, your hours have changed, or, you're not meant to be working today.