Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter is 6 and has been referred for an autism assessment by the SENCO at school. One major trait which everyone sees is her "literal thinking".
Some examples:
- "I don't need an 'extra hand' I already have 2."
- "I've counted 60 seconds and you're not ready, so you 'lied' about 'in n a minute'."
- "Everyone in the world doesn't have a bookbag so how can 'everyone' bring their bookbags in tomorrow?"
Etc...
Now I'm not disputing that she may be autistic, it's been on my radar for a while as her Dad is autistic, she flaps her hands/stims, it is very difficult to have a conversation with her that doesn't become tangential and she has no filter and is extremely blunt! But to me the literalness seems like cheekiness a lot of the time. She knows when you ask her what is meant by 'do you need a hand?' etc by she still comments literally every time.
Is there a line? I would have expected her not to understand the meaning if this was truly an autistic trait, and I'm not sure how to deal with it right now. Does anyone have any advice? Does anyone or their child react the same even though they do have an understanding of the intended meaning? I'm struggling a bit to understand.
Thank you
I will add!! She's clarifying things which usually aren't clarified until Uni by a Logic or Philosophy Professor if one happens to take the class. In diplomatic situations, WE APPROVE of taking notice of what she's automatically picking up. In fact, one reason individuals in Authority are bing "cancelled" is due to their lack of intentional reasoning by using All or Nothing language. Explore this with her.
She's basically stating what a Philosophy Prof. would: "Everyone" is a hard term. You can help her learn to use the phrase, "I'm assuming you don't actually mean everyone, but everyone in this class". (Add a wink or smile - this will help her with her sense of humour and acceptability)
I would get her involved with https://p4c.com
Lies are a major issue that autistics need help differentiating. How to discern between carelessness with intent or language vs. intentionally misrepresenting something. And this can be taught through matters of Diplomacy. Learning to understand things "in context" or "in relation with". Help her appreciate silence instead of cruelty where matters of the heart are concerned. Or learning to whisper just to you how ugly someones dog is instead of announcing it out loud. It helps her get it out in a very contained and healthy way. I was once told that a Truth out of context is a Lie. For instance, if I care about not hurting someone and I hurt them with my words because what I'm saying is a 'truth' and I feel even a little surge of ego from saying it, then it becomes a lie. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but it has helped me. I don't want to hurt others. So I employ diplomatic rules to engage with others. Learn to respect how another might hear what I'm saying or not saying. Now this stuff can take 20 years to really become skilled with. So, I'd simply suggest as a parent to learn this art-form in small amounts over time and simply lead by example.
Perhaps, too, you can meet her half way when it comes to an indefinite postponement. "I can't estimate when I'll be ready but it will be within the next 20 minutes. So you're welcome to sit and do nothing or perhaps read a book or colour and we can take that with you when I am ready, so you can finish along the way."