Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter is 6 and has been referred for an autism assessment by the SENCO at school. One major trait which everyone sees is her "literal thinking".
Some examples:
- "I don't need an 'extra hand' I already have 2."
- "I've counted 60 seconds and you're not ready, so you 'lied' about 'in n a minute'."
- "Everyone in the world doesn't have a bookbag so how can 'everyone' bring their bookbags in tomorrow?"
Etc...
Now I'm not disputing that she may be autistic, it's been on my radar for a while as her Dad is autistic, she flaps her hands/stims, it is very difficult to have a conversation with her that doesn't become tangential and she has no filter and is extremely blunt! But to me the literalness seems like cheekiness a lot of the time. She knows when you ask her what is meant by 'do you need a hand?' etc by she still comments literally every time.
Is there a line? I would have expected her not to understand the meaning if this was truly an autistic trait, and I'm not sure how to deal with it right now. Does anyone have any advice? Does anyone or their child react the same even though they do have an understanding of the intended meaning? I'm struggling a bit to understand.
Thank you
She isn't a 'literal' thinker, she's an Analytical thinker. And this needs to be encouraged. She sounds like a critical thinker and may respond really well to a higher standard of linguistics. Aim for the wit, clarity and sharpness of a journalist like Quentin Letts twitter.com/thequentinletts
The problem is she might not actually know what your implications / unspoken 'secret codes' actually are, but she's addressing and engaging with what's being said to her. So, she's not trying to undermine you, most likely she has no clue what you mean, but finds the phrase amusing. But there's also a DEEP respect for excellence with meaning and pragmatics. This can be encouraged. Always assume the best.
She may hear the irony in a phrase and incorrect use, and she will appreciate clarity and precision with language, and you can help her learn fun techniques when she is intentionally being 'cheeky' and also knows what you mean. Perhaps together you can play a fun game and come up with your own secret codes and phrases. it will help her learn to appreciate the NeuroTypical tribal behaviour of saying one thing while meaning another for the sake of inclusion.
It's rare she might have a neurotic (neurotypical anti-social) motive when dealing with pragmatics. The autistic typically seeks connexion, not competition. And in a psychologists office, we learn to speak back exactly what the other said and also ask, 'did you mean this ____".
Language can be used purposefully to manipulate. Adverts are good with this. Autistics don't usually desire any more severing of connexions than they already normally experience. Help her to learn the phrase, "It's helpful when you are direct. What would you like from me exactly"