Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all..... for the last 3yrs our daughter has really struggled with their mental health and anxiety. The transition to high school really catapulted the anxiety and depression along with the pandemic. Unfortunately, we struggled to get the services we needed until she took an overdose last August.
At a general hospital she was assessed as Tier 4 (which she was admitted to psch ward for her own safety). I have continuously fought for ASD and ADHD diagnosis. four months of fighting, through many meetings, we finally got assessments and the psychologist at the time diagnosed ASD and ADHD. We understood the difficulties in diagnosing her beforehand, as our child is a 'master at masking.' However, we now understand that the masking became overwhelming itself and our child struggled to fit in. Therefore, she thought that we would all be better off without her.
9 months down the line and she is still an in patient on a psychic ward 3.5hrs drive away from her home, we now have a new psychologist who has blasted in with doubt. This is deflating, de-spiriting for all of us. she makes my child attend group therapy (which my child feels overwhelmed by) which leads to head banging for up to 45 mins. My child gets their phone taken away if they do not attend therapy groups (which is our only line of communication / contact).
The psychiatrist wrote a supporting letter to the ECHP assessment co-ordinator stating that our daughter would not thrive in mainstream and would find it more than overwhelming and the very thought of it puts unnecessary panic. The primary need has been recognised as SEMH (social, emotional mental health) support. However, this week he returns back from holiday to do a complete u-turn and suggests our child tries their old school for an hour. We believe this to be because EHCP in our area (Norfolk) are taking 40wks to complete instead of 20wks.
Needless to say, we are not encouraged by the disregard to our daughters ASD difficulties and clearly feel the evidence questions whether 'responsible adjustments' are being made and our child's needs, or are even being listen to. We feel that we are trapped in a conveyor belt system and cost is literally being put before our child's ASD and co-occuring Depression and anxiety.
This has put our child backwards and she feels there is no point anymore.
We are considering pulling her off roll at the local high school so this stops the option. There is also a police investigation into to pupils that have sent my daughter direct voice messages telling her to 'f**king kill herself' "hope your having a nice f**king time on the pyschic ward" it comes under malicious communication. Why an earth would we put our daughter in a school where pupils have done this to her? This is not a positive environment for her.
Any advice would be greatly received
Wow. This is just heart breaking!
I would find a solicitor to document the double-binds and lack of integrity on behalf of the practitioner. It's clear they don't understand basic humane elements of autism so it's surprising they're in that position. I would find an Autistic psychologist/therapist immediately. I would not allow her to go to that school. Collect the police reports and stay connected to an officer who you feel understands the case.
Autistic humans can thrive and become successful in ethical environments. When humans are respectful, responsible and understanding. These ideals might not exist everywhere, we all have a right to safety and being treated with dignity. We mature slower and different. We (Autists) need a grounded understanding of problems within sociology and society. We need to understand the difference between sociopathic behaviour and a lack of education. We can sense systems of exchange between humans and not understand what we're picking up, not just for a lack of language but also not having a asymmetrically wired brain, hyper-focused on semiotics and linguistics. We are more analytical and automatically making connexions - and we are better grounded and at ease with congruity and continuity, but this means when we are repeatedly told a thing, not subliminally but direct, we may do everything we can to align with that.
It might be important to help her focus for now on being loved. One of my favourite quotes by a psychoanalyst / philosopher duo is to make sure to "Stop the madness from becoming a mental illness". She is not ill. Society is. It is chaotic and mad. Becoming a being who is loved is the best solution to eventually (maybe toward 30) have learned how to put up proper boundaries and over come it.