Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, my 9 Yr old daughter has been diagnosed with High Functioning autism after a 3 year battle to get help and assessment. She has daily violent outbursts, mainly if she cant get her own way, or if she's being chastised for something or if something doesn't go right. She also won't follow any rule or boundary despite us putting endless amounts strategies in place over the years. She torments 4 year old brother daily. My worry is how she will be when she hits her teens and also that my son is starting to copy some of her behaviours.
I am wondering if anyone else's child has outbursts mainly when they dont get their own way or when they are being told off?
She is also is verbally abusive to me and her father regularly when in 'the anger zone' prior to an outburst, she is always hyper and on the go. She attentions seeks from peers and family. She prefers 1 to 1 friendships..
I feel both my children's and my families and mine and my husbands lives are ruined due to constant battles and daily struggles.
Any advice or anyone in the same position I would love to hear from you,
Thanks for reading,
Suzi x
She is going to be affected when situations change out of her control. Also if you are telling her to do something, or not to do something, she will not be able to cope and have a meltdown. It can seem like it’s her putting on her parts to get her own way, but it it’s often just overload for her.
If you don’t already, try and give her a blow by blow account of what’s expected of her, or for the day well in advance, so she has time to adjust and process it. See what things help her calm down, whether stims, or stim toys or a special interest etc. It sounds as if she’s got a lot of stresses right now, if she’s having meltdowns so often.
Don’t take to heart what she says when she’s in full meltdown. She can’t help it. Words will flow, and you just need to ignore them.
Can you soothe her with touch at all?
Thank you so much. I will take on board some of this advice