Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter was diagnosed with Autism just over a week ago after suffering with anxiety and depression for the last 3 years. She is 16 1/2 and in year 11. She has not attended school full time for the past year and hasn’t been at all for the past 6 weeks following an overdose. Although she says she accepts the Autism diagnosis she does not want to talk about it and I understand and appreciate that this will come in her own time.
I have no idea how to help her, she will not talk to us about anything other than TV, football etc. Trying to bring up anything like school, GCSEs, appointments, friends (now only via phone messaging) & how she is feeling (the more serious and practical stuff) results in a total shut down. Without input she stays in her bed watching TV. She is taking antidepressants which were changed following the overdose.
It’s very difficult to understand how to approach anything with her without making the situation worse and harder for her. Our life is 100% revolving around what she wants to do.
She has a therapist that she sees once a week and from what I can gather enjoys speaking to her.
Do we just leave her in her room on her own on the days that she wants to do that? Checking every now and again? Even though they are becoming more frequent?
It is heartbreaking to watch and feel so powerless. Any ideas on how to help and support greatfully received.
Did she know she was Autistic before you had her assessed? I knew I was, but hearing it, and seeing on paper was hard to take, and I’m 5 weeks post diagnosis, and soon to be 49! Your daughter has a lot to process right now. My guess is that she will bring a subject up when she feels ready. It might well be a waiting game, but in the meantime, just don’t refer to it. Just go about your daily life, and talk to her about the things you know she enjoys.
My daughter (also Autistic) spent a considerable amount of time in her room, both pre and post assessment. She was in a bad way, but the first assessment she had, she was told she wasn’t Autistic, and this sent her even further over the edge, She avoided school, had panic attacks, psychosis and was depressed, suicidal and regularly self harming. There was nothing I could do for her., but understood that she would talk when she was ready to….. She did, and I decided to get her seen privately, and she got the diagnoses she needed to move forward with her life. she’s not there yet, and has a lot of things to overcome, but she’s doing so well.
I just wanted to say that this period won’t last forever.
Thank you for your reply. No my daughter had no idea she might be Autistic, neither did we.
Your right it is an adjustment and patience is needed. It’s just hard feeling so helpless but maybe space is the help she needs.