Published on 12, July, 2020
Done with school now. You have to be in my situation to fully understand but I will try my best to explain.
My daughter came home in tears today and very upset, emotional and overwhelmed. She had a good start to the morning but since 11am she has struggled so much and things just got worse throughout the day. She was told that her staff for her next lesson, starting at 11, had to go home early so she had a choice of 2 staff that she could have instead. She made the choice and she wasn't happy when the staff got there because it wasn't the usual person, she then started to get annoyed and wanted space so she was left alone but she did kick her staff. When she calmed herself down, other staff walked in crowding her when she wanted to be left alone. She then went for one of them, hitting her on the back of the head. She was then held but broke free and was left alone again. What was the point in coming in the room in the first place?
Then she has been unsettled ever since, no surprise there. Her next lesson, there was no work to do, so she was bored but didn't do anything wrong and did well. Then she ate her lunch. After lunch, her usual staff, who has been off for training for 2 weeks now, still isn't in, so another change of staff, she didn't want to do her lessons because of this and tried getting rid of her teacher. She then got all worked up because they wouldn't leave her alone. They have a rule, if she wants space, staff need to be able to see her. They could see her but they still didn't leave her be. They started talking and she then exploded for the rest of the day, an hour and a bit. She attacked staff, and was really badly behaved. But that's because she was overwhelmed and needed space to calm down. She asked for this so many times and they finally let her be when she exploded and attacked someone. Then she calmed down and came home..
I have had a phone call from school saying she is excluded for the rest of the week and that on Monday staff will come round for a chat, then Tuesday she should hopefully be back in. Now we have always been supportive and understanding and she knows she excluded because of her behavior and she understands she can't go round hurting people and get away with it but if they left her, this wouldn't have happened. I know my daughter well. They should have listened to her and let her be to chill out. But now she's very unhappy because they've messed up her brain even more because now she has a change in routine, she has to come to work with me. She doesn't want to go back to school for many reasons she's told me. She wants me to cancel the plans for the weekend because of reasons she said and because her brain is messed up. Those are her words I've had to try out into a sentence. I'm sorry for always bothering you but I don't know what to do. I'm on my daughter's side this time, we all are. I'm just losing my patience with school. She only started properly in September but started going since April/May time.
I know a few people have mentioned that there could be more underlying mental issues which she hasn't been diagnosed for but she was a sweet little girl and it's ever since we've house a few years ago, she's struggled and isn't the same girl. We have tried getting professionals opinions but they've turned us down saying she only has autism but I don't feel like this is just the case. What do I do next? I need your opinion please. Thanks everyone for reading this, I have no one to turn to anymore. I'm sorry again.
I always read your posts in order to keep up with latest adventures regarding your daughter.
Could she be bipolar?
We have a meeting at the house Monday, and we, myself and her father, have a lot to say to the school. This is the last chance at school for her. She's been to many schools and we don't want to keep changing environments and homeschooling just doesn't work. Maybe for a week but after that, it just goes down hill rapidly.
She has never found school good so we tried homeschooling her for a few months because she wasn't doing well mentally and needed to be supervised at all times. She was also struggling because she was doing schooling online and she struggled to ask for help and participate in lessons. We then managed to get her into another school, a Pupil Referal Unit, where we had issues because she wasn't in lessons and would refuse to engage but nothing out of the norms. Now she is in a specialist school, she was doing better but since she's started, she has been violent towards staff and has very challenging behavior. But right now, she would prefer to be in school.
Is she better at home than at school?
In my youth I found all schools to be a toxic environment.
We thought about that but no professionals helped and turned us down. She is like a switch, her mood can change instantly without warning and last year, it was like we were walking on eggshells but apparently she only has autism but there has to be something else going on. Blood tests come back negative for things.