Please help! I am desperate for help for my son.

If he wants to go for an education to try and restart his career prospects he can still get into university either into a degree or if his grades weren't very good at a level he might take a foundation year. exactly how bad are his qualifications? Did he get 3 a levels?

bummer

Thank goodness your daughters uni got in touch with you. In Scotland it does seem extremely difficult to find support for young adults who have been diagnosed and also people who are educated on ASD. My son has been doing a lot of research and many of the things he is finding are only available in England. He too has always did really really well academically but he needs support with social skills and building relationships. These are things we try to teach our kids as they are growing up but only now are we realising how difficult he is and has been finding it.

We are in Scotland and there doesn't seem to be the same level of support here as there is in England which is a shame.

If you are in England their is support out their. most of it is purposely restricted or hidden from public knowledge and requires a referral from either a social worker or doctor to access it. Most General practitioner do not spend enough time looking into and will often deceive you into believing their are very little they can do and its just not true.

The best advice I can give you as an adult on the autism spectrum who is 25 years old who has gone through a needs assessment process myself and have greatly benefited from it. Your best option is to make a request for a needs assessment through you local authority which legally they cannot deny once requested. The needs assessments are often carried out by social worker and sometimes mental health nurses which will identify area of support that is needed. these area are dependant on your children's needs. they can help them access education and employment, assist and find social inclusion, work towards independence & rehousing if needed & even help with accessing mental health treatment.

If your child was diagnosed as an adult their is post autism support that may be accessible through your nearest NHS trust which will work on accepting the diagnosis, reasonable adaption and coping strategies which may benefit.  

Avoid schemes like the health and work programmes often operated by the Shawtrust they don't benefit or help us, they'll mess your adult children around or indirectly force them into some really bad workplaces or give really bad advice. 

in the east of England their is organisation called "Genius Within" that may help here is the link : https://www.geniuswithin.co.uk/

The Princes Trust Team programme is really hit and miss in some areas but may improve their confidents.

Your local authority may have their own employment scheme that works with individuals with autism, adhd and mental health disorder get back into work, it worth while looking into. 

• Hi, I understand how you feel. My daughter is 19 and only just diagnosed. Her mental health isn't particularly  good. Qualifications aren't everything, my daughter did really well academically but she can't cope out in the world. She got into uni, which ironically covid helped with as she didn't have a proper interview rather a 30min informal online chat and managed to get accepted. But she has no social skills and without a diagnosis, got zero help and ended in a deep depression to 5he point I had to insist on bringing her home as she hadn't left her room for over a month, except for the toilet, make food (which was mostly Noodles with boiling water) and once to get a food delivery that her nan had arranged. I only knew something was wrong when the university actually phoned me to say they were trying to contact her and wanted to check she was OK as she hadn't been attending and they couldn't contact her. 
• I am also in the same boat of not knowing where to turn, I am hoping the specialist sets something in motion as she was only diagnosed yesterday (although for us this has been log awaited for years).
• My biggest fear for my daughter is she too doesn't really have any friends. She can't form any sort of relationship. She lives with me and spends all her free time at home. I'm terrified that she will be alone for the rest of her life. I would give anything for her to be able to experience loving someone and the feeling of being loved.

My son has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers aged 22. Like you whenever I Google for support it always seems to be for children. My son has joined a support group thru the NAS which he is finding helpful although it is only for about 8 weeks. Perhaps your son could enrol on a foundation course in something like photography, computing or art & design? If he advised the college of his diagnosis they will have support available for him and there are also counselling services available at college. As a parent we all want to do our very best for our children but sometimes we just don't know what that is, especially when they are older. I hope you both find the help and support that you need.

Hi Sam,

Thank you very much for sharing this with our community. 

You may like to have a look at the mental health section of our website which has useful links to information and advice about a range of mental health issues: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health

If you feel that you might need some support with your son's mental health, you can find advice and information on how to go about seeking help, including links to other resources and details of helplines and listening support services, here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/seeking-help.

Hope this helps!

Kind regards,

Eunice Mod

He is only 23!

If he's interested try local adult education college to get some training, any subject, or even onljne. Now he has a diagnosis it may be easier to get the support he needs, and also he won't have to deal with all those other adolescent obnoxious kids you get at school.

It is almost impossible to get a steady job now so he should not feel bad about that. 

Create another account for him. Once he has experience here,,,  he can move to the various Discord sites as well where there is emotional help and support.

Hi, could I message you I don't want to write on here? :) 

Or could you go to an NAS hub together?

www.autism.org.uk/.../local-branches

Would he join us on here?