Published on 12, July, 2020
Good evening,
Firstly I’d like to say I have no idea if I’m posting in the right place as I have never used this website before and also do not actually use any social networking or anything therefore I have no idea what’s what really when it comes to the rights and wrongs of posting online.
So, as it says my daughter is 8 and she’s started hitting me in anger. She also has kicked holes in the walls and doors of our home. This happens when I even so much as tell her “time to clean your teeth.” Or for example last night she wanted sauce on her rice. I did it for her and with that she threw the plate, kicked the table and ran upstairs where she slammed her door multiple times and threw things around her bedroom. I leave her to it as it makes it worse if I go up there and within sometimes 20 mins or maybe longer like an hour she comes back downstairs normally to show me a picture she’s drawn like nothing has happened.
What I’m asking is does anyone else’s child do this? Is it an autistic or adhd thing?
I feel like I’m alone in how I walk in egg shells ALL of the time. I could say “bath time” and she’s fine but the next day.. “bath time” sends her into a meltdown or tantrum I don’t know which one. She will shout “NO!” then slam her door or throw something.
Today she apparently told another child at school to “F off” and then told the teacher to also “F off!” This is new she doesn’t usually swear at all. I honestly don’t know how to help her but most of all I almost want a bunch of other mums to tell me they also experience this.
Thank - you.
Good Lord! Bless you that's tough.
I'm sure you're aware that the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum is: does it stop if they get what they want or it becomes clear they can't get what they want? If either of those things happen, you're dealing with bad behaviour. If it doesn't stop under either of those circumstances, - basically, she didn't want anything, in the first place and it was never about getting her own way, but some other stressors, it's probably a melt down.
But then 8 is a bit old for tantrums. And you certainly can't go on treading on egg shells or live in fear of being hit by an 8 year old.
It sounds as though someone needs to look at this to see whether it is an autistic meltdown or some other behavioural issue she needs help managing, but someone needs to work with her sooner rather than later for both your sakes.
I'm not an expert but it sounds like reasonable parental requests trigger some of this. Is the section on the NAS site on the demand avoidance profile, anything you recognise?
Welcome to the site btw. I'm sure there are some parents put there who might have seen this before and can advise better than me.