Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I've never been on this forum before but I just wanted to reach out and make sure I'm not the only person like me in the world, it can feel that way sometimes.
I am 27, happily married to my Autistic husband and a stay-at-home mum to my perfect 1 year old son. Plus I'm an open book, love deep discussions and am probably way too intense for most people. I want desperately to make friends with other mums so my boy can have lots of interaction with other children, but I'm struggling...
My husband has to work way too much and my mum will be moving further away in just a few weeks. To my knowledge I have never met another diagnosed Autistic female in person before.
Can anyone relate? Sorry I am super depressing, not even sure if I'm typing this in the right place and worried that I'll press Post, then have that panic of knowing I look like a fool. Thank you.
hi
welcome to this forum
there are many autistic ladies and gentlemen in here, some diagnosed others waiting I will let them reply to you for themselves.
BTW u can discuss anything with me and almost any time:)
lets start with ---- why do you think you are are super depressing ?
Thank you :-)
I suppose, I'm depressing because I've had a lot of really bad experiences in my life and in my struggle to process them I have often felt the need to tell people and go over them numerous times. People tell me this is unhealthy, but they are in my head either way and I find it helps to air them out when I can, rather than let them fester. Also I really struggle with injustice, so anything that I see as unjust I struggle to keep my mouth shut about it and in society we are often expected to keep our mouths shut. These things put people off in my experience.
Nice to meet you.
the "unjust thing" is a very autism thing i have it and so does Chris packham which gets him and me into trouble/conflict. I see this as an excellent behaviour which I adour in u, me, and Chris Pacham.
but it has to be controlled i have lent to hold back more ("I'll hold back on this for a bit .... I'll use the Art of Doing Nothing to see what pans out )
I am not sure of going over stuff again is depressing or a way to release the pain. To me its the release of your pain. So please lets do it when you are ready. Just pick one thing and lets talk about it now. Could it be u have OCD on top of your autism ? what where u diagnosed with ?
I am depressing because .........
dont be sorry,,,,,,, the thing is i have met and known people with very similar life stories some people never really recover but you are bouncing back which is great news
see u around in the discussions :)
Thank you, sorry about that, I started answering your question about PTSD and I ended up typing a 2 page essay! You can imagine how bad I am at texting haha. It did feel good writing it all though, and I didn't want to just delete it. My life is on an upward trajectory, so I'm doing pretty well now really.
But I'll definitely stick around and try to post on other people's threads, it feel really nice relating to so many people instantly.
i have read what u sent by PM. because there is a defect in the PM tool. Heres what I replied with
"wow thats a lot - no wonder u have PTSD ! I got as far as the "running up 3 flights of stairs"
can you fill out your Bio a bit more and give yourself a nice id /name - i want you to stay here and talk more as u in a sensitive mantal state i would say and need to be able to talk to like minded people here even if it just the weather. You're autistic so you need support.
Send my thanks to u're clearly brillant husband he sounds an Angel.
you have survived so much - you're pretty amazing really.
each day when u waken tell yourself
"this is a new day. I can live my life the way I want. "
oh my u have a load on your plate,,,, the biggee is the PTSD can u talk about that ( if possible ) ?
"Are you depressing to others?" i'm not sure but I am changing due to Zen .
on happier note u are changing as well which is great.
back to the biggee is the PTSD can u talk about that ( if possible ) ?
That is true and I love that morals matter to me, it just gets so exhausting banging your head against a brick wall of dense people. I'm sure you can relate. I do manage to keep my mouth shut sometimes, but it hurts deep down inside.
For me going over stuff is 100% cathartic and I think the world would be a better place if we all did it. But I have been shamed a lot for it over the years, mostly from my mum now I think of it. I think it's probably for the best that she is moving away really.
I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome with a high IQ which makes me appear more high functioning than I feel in my mind. I saw the psychiatrist for a year after being diagnosed, she was an Autism specialist and did an excellent job of helping me understand my mind, I was very fortunate. But when I was diagnosed I was also suffering from Anorexia Nervosa, had been for 2/3 years at that point and I had a lot of OCD traits which came along with that. I would consider myself recovered from that now though, although I do still have some disordered eating patterns but more overeating now. I have also been treated for PTSD from early childhood trauma.
Now I'm worrying that I sound like an a narcissist for talking so much about myself and not asking about you. But I'm not really sure what an appropriate question would be. Are you depressing to others?