I just wondered if anyone else suffers from extreme embarrassment even for the slightest of things that others don't even notice.
My child made a little error when doing some crafting and I laughed and said oops. This started what we call an episode, is this a trait of Autism at all?
It is a problem for me; although I would admit that there have been quite a few times when I probably deserved to be embarrassed because of the rashness of my behaviour. But embarassment also occurs for stuff that most other people would almost immediately shrug off and promptly forget. I have also read that it is considered a trait.
I am regularly embarrassed about my situation, and that embarassment is still felt for things that happened up to 60 years ago. I still visibly cringe whilst remembering some very dated incidents, that most other people have probably long forgotten,
I self-identified about 4 years ago. I cited these embarrassment attacks on the subsequent day of diagnosis. Even as I reported it matter-of-factly to the assessor, I was both outwardly and inwardly cringing.
Not only do I frequently talk out loud to myself (mostly unobserved). but I also get regular embarrassment flashbacks. Regular means up to several times each day. One way to deal with this is to actually tell yourself to "Stop". That is often out loud, but in this day -&- age of device-induced trance, it is rarely noticed. That is an adaptation of a very simple and effective way (for me, at least) of dealing with depression.
The autistic brain is very analytical. I am self critical to the point of excoriation. People tell me i'm too hard on myself. I wish i knew how to stop. I have some terrible times because of it. I think the point of the Autistic brain is to solve problems that would not be solved otherwise.
Yes, that is also very familiar ground. My current chosen solution is to shift my focus increasingly onto artwork & craftwork. I could do with a lot more of those anyway. I would define those two very loosely; but that would often mean solving problems in a non-confrontational manner. Now that might sound a bit lacking in backbone, but perhaps the best way to look at it is that you are modelling possible solutions to others, rather than just telling them how you think it should be. I'm very used to being ignored or deliberately excluded, so the drawback is always that you are inevitably working in a vacuum much of the time. But actually I really do see it as a better way of influencing the actions of others; more successful in the long-term than delivering a sermon. If just a few others are prepared to observe, and adapt for themselves, I reckon something has been achieved. It, of course, runs very contrary to the current fascination with all things that have got exhibitionist "talent", but if we're going to continue using a music analogy here, it's worth remembering that most bands have at least one member who prefers to turn her/his back on the audience, or who remain seated instead of striking a pose. I won't mention any specific names here, but I keep noticing that their influence is still keenly felt.