Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I've been with my partner for 18 months and have always been aware that he's on the spectrum. He really struggles and is going through a particularly difficult time. At this stage he is becoming extremely verbaly abusive to me but he has no support network and I don't feel like I can leave. My previous partner committed suicide after battling depression (resulting in verbal abuse towards me) and the whole situation is causing me extreme PTSD. My partner tells me that I don't have any problems and my life is perfect, because I don't striggle with a disability and have a secure job and home.
I really don't know what to do.
Hi
I've just joined this forum today as a partner of an Aspie. We've lived together for 2 years, we are in our 40s, we have no children. We met late in life & both value our space & peace & quiet. I have tons of hobbies, he doesn't have any, & his work has dried up.
He has turned into what I can only describe as a cold hearted robot. Very apathetic, not depressed. Doesn't understand day to day simple conversations. Emotionless. Numb. Callous.
Impossible to communicate with since march,gets the wrong end of the stick with every simple thing I say. Never understands. He blames me for every argument. He says I am always at fault, he is always correct (he is a bigot).
I am getting desperate to leave him to keep my sanity.
We have decided to rent a flat for me, to try to save the relationship. I can live there half the week or full time in accordance with how much space I need. And to avoid being around him.
I move in later today. I've got a feeling that once I move out, I will never move back in with him. He is going through a phase where he doesn't understand most of what I say. Or he hears me & goes against what I say. I am despairing, especially as he doesn't listen to me or comfort me when he's upset me. So I am continuously upset, frustrated & depressed.
He is making my life miserable, stressful, chaotic & I am questioning why I am with him. He knows he has Aspergers but thinks it has no impact on the relationship going down the toilet.
I will update when I've moved into the new place.
But it will definitely improve my mental health to get space, with fewer arguments & decide what to do going forward.
Maybe it's something you could do, it may strengthen your relationship. Most renters can move out after 6 months do you could do it for 6 months & review your relationship after that.