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Relationship becoming verbally abusive

NAS68043
over 3 years ago

Hello,

I've been with my partner for 18 months and have always been aware that he's on the spectrum.  He really struggles and is going through a particularly difficult time.  At this stage he is becoming extremely verbaly abusive to me but he has no support network and I don't feel like I can leave.  My previous partner committed suicide after battling depression (resulting in verbal abuse towards me) and the whole situation is causing me extreme PTSD.  My partner tells me that I don't have any problems and my life is perfect, because I don't striggle with a disability and have a secure job and home.

I really don't know what to do.

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    Hey :) 

    So sorry to hear what you're going through. Ofc things are difficult for him, but that doesn't excuse the way you're being treated. Not having his problems doesn't mean you're automatically an emotional punching bag. I know things must be difficult given your previous experience, but it's on him to get help and resolve this, not on you to take emotional hit after emotional hit until something gives. Remember, your previous and current partners' problems with depression/autism isn't your fault at all, so you don't need to make excuses as to why you have to take the blame. If he refuses any help and keeps blaming you, then this relationship is pretty much dysfunctional and you need to reconsider whether you can keep this up for the future ahead. Hopefully it doesn't come to that and that things improve x

Reply
  • over 3 years ago

    Hey :) 

    So sorry to hear what you're going through. Ofc things are difficult for him, but that doesn't excuse the way you're being treated. Not having his problems doesn't mean you're automatically an emotional punching bag. I know things must be difficult given your previous experience, but it's on him to get help and resolve this, not on you to take emotional hit after emotional hit until something gives. Remember, your previous and current partners' problems with depression/autism isn't your fault at all, so you don't need to make excuses as to why you have to take the blame. If he refuses any help and keeps blaming you, then this relationship is pretty much dysfunctional and you need to reconsider whether you can keep this up for the future ahead. Hopefully it doesn't come to that and that things improve x

Children
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