help please our daughter won't leave her room and shouts at us if we engage with her


Our 11 year old daughter is ASD and has an anxiety disorder. She hasn't been to school for months. We are in the process of trying to get her an EHPC to go to a special school which can provide for her needs. She's very bright. Our main problem is that she resists doing anything she doesn't want to do to the point that she won't leave her room. Getting her to eat is a problem since she's been on sertraline which has helped her anxiety but taken her appetite away. I've tried getting her to leave her room to eat but she'll literally not eat or drink all day so I end up taking food to her in her room facilitating her not leaving it but I feel like a bad parent if she's hungry and thirsty. She won't tidy her room but freaks out if I try to. She generally shouts at us every time we go in there. She locked herself in the bathroom for 7 hours the other day because we said she had to take a screen break. She's obviously unhappy but we also feel she manipulates us. We don't know where to turn or what strategies to try any more.