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Newly diagnosed 2 year old - sad mum

NAS66489
over 4 years ago

Hi,

My 2 year old son doesn’t talk, has poor eye contact, doesn’t point and flaps his hands when excited. Until the questionnaire for the 2 year review I didn’t think too much of it all but now with the review it’s all come into the picture. I feel so upset and overwhelmed. I feel guilty on many counts. With the Covid situation, I have been told there is no guarantee when we will be contacted for the referral and paediatrician follow up. I feel helpless with no advice on what I can do to make things better for him and how to come to terms with it myself. So worried about what the future will be like. Feel sad for my older daughter who is the sweetest most cooperative little girl. Most places recommend talking to other parents in the same situation. So here I am. Any support please - much appreciated

Parents
  • over 4 years ago
    NAS66489 said:
    My 2 year old son doesn’t talk, has poor eye contact, doesn’t point and flaps his hands when excited

    So what?? Other than the hand clapping this describes me as a two year old. I'm now a 35 year old women, who is a teacher (FE and HE), a PhD student, a wife and a mother. As I think differently to the pack I've also won numerous awards for my outstanding professional practice.

    My mother hated my lack of eye contact and used to reprimand me about this. All that did was make me unhappy and anxious. As such, I caution against trying to change your son to fit in with societal expectations and believe the best thing you can do is accept him for who he is, encourage his strengths and be there to help him work on any areas he'd like to develop - so basically be a parent.

    Like the predominant neurotype, all autistic people are different, as our socialisation and life experiences have a huge impact upon our behaviour and thought processes. We also have different strengths and weaknesses.

    If I was in your situation I'd have a good think about how you want to be as a parent, as well as your own moral stance in regards to your approach to people who are different to the majority. You might want to take the parent community with a bit of salt. I've seen far too many non-autistic parents of autistic children promote a deficit model of this neurotype, which add to the stigma and continues to misrepresent autistic individuals.

    I recommend you read this book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Autism-Asperger-Syndrome-Childhood-diagnosed/dp/1847094929

Reply
  • over 4 years ago
    NAS66489 said:
    My 2 year old son doesn’t talk, has poor eye contact, doesn’t point and flaps his hands when excited

    So what?? Other than the hand clapping this describes me as a two year old. I'm now a 35 year old women, who is a teacher (FE and HE), a PhD student, a wife and a mother. As I think differently to the pack I've also won numerous awards for my outstanding professional practice.

    My mother hated my lack of eye contact and used to reprimand me about this. All that did was make me unhappy and anxious. As such, I caution against trying to change your son to fit in with societal expectations and believe the best thing you can do is accept him for who he is, encourage his strengths and be there to help him work on any areas he'd like to develop - so basically be a parent.

    Like the predominant neurotype, all autistic people are different, as our socialisation and life experiences have a huge impact upon our behaviour and thought processes. We also have different strengths and weaknesses.

    If I was in your situation I'd have a good think about how you want to be as a parent, as well as your own moral stance in regards to your approach to people who are different to the majority. You might want to take the parent community with a bit of salt. I've seen far too many non-autistic parents of autistic children promote a deficit model of this neurotype, which add to the stigma and continues to misrepresent autistic individuals.

    I recommend you read this book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Autism-Asperger-Syndrome-Childhood-diagnosed/dp/1847094929

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