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Newly diagnosed 2 year old - sad mum

NAS66489
over 4 years ago

Hi,

My 2 year old son doesn’t talk, has poor eye contact, doesn’t point and flaps his hands when excited. Until the questionnaire for the 2 year review I didn’t think too much of it all but now with the review it’s all come into the picture. I feel so upset and overwhelmed. I feel guilty on many counts. With the Covid situation, I have been told there is no guarantee when we will be contacted for the referral and paediatrician follow up. I feel helpless with no advice on what I can do to make things better for him and how to come to terms with it myself. So worried about what the future will be like. Feel sad for my older daughter who is the sweetest most cooperative little girl. Most places recommend talking to other parents in the same situation. So here I am. Any support please - much appreciated

Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    Don't be upset - look at it as a challenge.      My recommendation for you is Structure, Routine, Contingency.

    What I mean by that is remove as many unknowns as possible so your son can predict life with certainty - the more things he needs to worry about, the more anxiety he will have, the more upset he can get.      If everything just comes naturally with no stress, he'll learn to cope better with any single departure because everything else will be known.   

    Whenever a problem crops up, explain why the problem happened, that it's nothing to worry about and give him a small selection of alternatives to solve the problem.    That will give him confidence to deal with small problems.   You will be helping him build a model of how his world works that removes worry and stress.

    If you repeat this process, it will build robust foundations so as he meets new challenges, he will have strategies to cope.    As for contingency, you must make sure you give him universal escape plans so if everything gets too much, he knows you've got his back.

    You have to consider yourself as his Jiminy Chricket - constantly there providing a narrative / translation between the world and his mind - giving him all the clues and understanding so he can add details to his world that he might not spot.

Reply
  • over 4 years ago

    Don't be upset - look at it as a challenge.      My recommendation for you is Structure, Routine, Contingency.

    What I mean by that is remove as many unknowns as possible so your son can predict life with certainty - the more things he needs to worry about, the more anxiety he will have, the more upset he can get.      If everything just comes naturally with no stress, he'll learn to cope better with any single departure because everything else will be known.   

    Whenever a problem crops up, explain why the problem happened, that it's nothing to worry about and give him a small selection of alternatives to solve the problem.    That will give him confidence to deal with small problems.   You will be helping him build a model of how his world works that removes worry and stress.

    If you repeat this process, it will build robust foundations so as he meets new challenges, he will have strategies to cope.    As for contingency, you must make sure you give him universal escape plans so if everything gets too much, he knows you've got his back.

    You have to consider yourself as his Jiminy Chricket - constantly there providing a narrative / translation between the world and his mind - giving him all the clues and understanding so he can add details to his world that he might not spot.

Children
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